The Poster Girl Who Was Cut Out of the Picture

Picture imperfect: Annesha Taylor was formerly a spokeswoman for the Jamaican government's HIV/AIDS campaign. To see the multimedia project, go to http://livehopelove.com. (Joshua Cogan - Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting)

Not long after her reassignment, Annesha miscarried, and she and the father separated. She now has a more permanent position at the public health clinic, a job that she enjoys and for which she is grateful. Sometimes people still recognize her, and she has to think carefully before answering their questions: Are you still having unprotected sex? Are you giving the disease to other people?

The last time I saw Annesha, I asked how her antiretroviral drugs were working. She sighed, smiled sheepishly and said, "I might not continue with the medication." She insisted that she knows her body, that the treatment was making her sick and that she could beat the disease without it. I told her that others were depending on her and asked her to promise that she would keep taking the drugs. She didn't give me any guarantees.

She also mentioned that sales representatives at a U.S.-based natural-remedy firm were courting her. They would supply her with "natural" pills, and she, in turn, would try to convince other Jamaican HIV patients to use their products. I asked whether she had talked to her doctors about the pills' possible impact on her regimen. She said that she hadn't because they would steer her away from such drugs and the chance to make some money.

I left Annesha with the sense that things could quickly go wrong for her. Then, about two weeks ago, she called and told me that she had been in the hospital for three weeks with serious respiratory and heart problems. I asked whether she had stopped taking her antiretroviral medication, and she assured me that she hadn't, that she was staying on it for her mother and children. But she had gotten ill nonetheless. She said that she sometimes feels like giving up and that her children are afraid their mother is going to die.

That conversation was disheartening, but a few days ago I spoke with Annesha again. This time, she sounded tired but optimistic, as if her hopeful spirit could carry her through her struggles. I pray that it will keep her going for as long as possible.

dawesk@mailbox.sc.edu

Kwame Dawes, a poet and professor at the University of South Carolina, reported from Jamaica on a grant from the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting. For related poetry, photography and video interviews, visit http://livehopelove.com.