Indiana Jones and the Temple of Celebrity

"Bo Derek."

As celebrities go, Derek is a fixture in the capital, visiting here to promote conservation, speak up for disabled veterans or hang out with White House chief of staff Josh Bolten. That puts her in a league with Angelina Jolie, Richard Gere and Bono, whose regular trips to the Capitol for AIDS and poverty should qualify him for parking privileges.

With so many celebs and their causes celebres, woe to the issue, or creature, left unguarded by marquee mouthpieces. This was the sad fate yesterday of the polar bear, who was defenseless as the conservative American Enterprise Institute held a discussion titled "Will Polar Bear Protection Mean Ever-Higher Energy Costs?"

Relative to their cold-weather cousins, the tigers were well represented yesterday by Ford, who, it was announced yesterday, will play a genetic scientist in a new CBS Films picture, "Crowley." In his latest, Steven Spielberg's "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," the 65-year-old Ford wears his usual fedora and cracks his trusty whip as an adventurer-archaeologist in Central America.

Ford, eschewing both hat and whip, wore a business suit and a silver earring in one lobe yesterday. He listened politely as zookeeper Berry described "the most important conservation initiative undertaken in the history of the world to conserve wild tigers." And Ford, his hide well tanned, nodded slowly and sadly as Zoellick spoke of the "shocking" decline in tiger populations.

After half an hour, the star took the stage, and the photographers circled like so many hunters on safari. He spoke in his quiet, clenched-jaw voice, though his words, steeped in the jargon of the nongovernmental-organization sector, would not be confused with those coming from the lips of Indy Jones: "We must of course secure the critical reserves of biodiversity. . . . Conservation outcomes are scaled up when dedicated people from a variety of different sectors work together to pool their talents."

The speeches done, Ford walked over to get a glimpse of Melati and Maharani. But the two tigers seemed unimpressed with the commotion: One of them licked the iced treat that keepers had put out, then let out a yawn and walked away.

The bureaucrats and conservationists were not so calm. "Group photo!" one called out. "Please! We just need this photograph!" a World Bank official shouted. After the group shot, photo and autograph seekers besieged Ford from all directions. Zoellick whisked him away to see an exhibit of "Save the Tiger" posters -- only for Ford to be surrounded by more groupies. The beleaguered star -- skipping the half-hour of "outreach opportunities for celebrities" listed in the program -- beat a hasty retreat for a private lunch at the World Bank.

"All these fawning World Bankers," one bank official said to another as he left the tiger exhibit. "I thought we were serious people."