By Dana Milbank
Tuesday, June 10, 2008

It was hotter than the Sumatran jungle in Woodley Park for yesterday's unveiling of the National Zoo's latest animal exhibit.

Two hundred dignitaries waited, fanning and mopping themselves, as the creature approached. It cocked its head and looked warily at the spectators, revealing its silver mane and the scar beneath its mouth. It sat on its haunches, and its eyes darted as the cameras flashed. Then it put on reading glasses and it spoke.

"Thank you very much," the familiar, manly monotone of Harrison Ford pronounced. The "Indiana Jones" star held forth for all of a minute and 20 seconds. "Distinguished guests," he concluded, "I thank you for your commitment to tigers."

There were real tigers there, too, of course. Melati and Maharani were lured by their keepers into the morning heat by what looked to be buckets of frozen blood. But at this event, Ford was the great cat all had come to see.

Even Bo Derek, who at age 51 and perspiring still rated about a 9.5, was agog at the rare citing of Panthera tigris Harrisonae. "He never does this! It's fabulous," the actress gushed. Derek does her own charity appearances for conservation and disabled veterans, but "I'm not Harrison Ford," she explained, dabbing herself with a purple handkerchief. "How do you get better than that?"

It has long been observed that Washington is Hollywood for ugly people. In this town, even a B-list movie actor is a big deal -- as evidenced by the annual hullabaloo at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner. So having the attention of a star such as Ford is bound to make Washingtonians weak in the knees.

World Bank President Bob Zoellick, whose mustache makes him look more catfish than tiger, was in a name-dropping mood as he introduced the bank's Tiger Conservation Initiative in front of 10 television cameras, a Cabinet officer, a congressman, conservation leaders, and celebrities such as Robert Duvall, Derek and Ilia Lagutenko, lead singer of the Russian rock band Mumiy Troll.

"I'm especially pleased to welcome Harrison Ford, Bo Derek and Ilia Lagutenko," he announced. "Mr. Ford's environmental work may not be his best-known work, but it could be some of his most important projects. Even though he's been very busy with his latest film, he's graciously taken time to be with us." In case anybody missed the first name-drop, Zoellick added another for "my friend Bo Derek."

Zoo director John Berry did Zoellick one better, singling out "Bo Derek, who is a great friend."

But even among friends, any attempt at Hollywood on the Potomac is bound to produce its awkward moments -- as when Derek cheerfully introduced herself to the woman sitting in front of her.

"Bo Derek. How do you do?"

"Who?"

"Bo Derek."

As celebrities go, Derek is a fixture in the capital, visiting here to promote conservation, speak up for disabled veterans or hang out with White House chief of staff Josh Bolten. That puts her in a league with Angelina Jolie, Richard Gere and Bono, whose regular trips to the Capitol for AIDS and poverty should qualify him for parking privileges.

With so many celebs and their causes celebres, woe to the issue, or creature, left unguarded by marquee mouthpieces. This was the sad fate yesterday of the polar bear, who was defenseless as the conservative American Enterprise Institute held a discussion titled "Will Polar Bear Protection Mean Ever-Higher Energy Costs?"

Relative to their cold-weather cousins, the tigers were well represented yesterday by Ford, who, it was announced yesterday, will play a genetic scientist in a new CBS Films picture, "Crowley." In his latest, Steven Spielberg's "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," the 65-year-old Ford wears his usual fedora and cracks his trusty whip as an adventurer-archaeologist in Central America.

Ford, eschewing both hat and whip, wore a business suit and a silver earring in one lobe yesterday. He listened politely as zookeeper Berry described "the most important conservation initiative undertaken in the history of the world to conserve wild tigers." And Ford, his hide well tanned, nodded slowly and sadly as Zoellick spoke of the "shocking" decline in tiger populations.

After half an hour, the star took the stage, and the photographers circled like so many hunters on safari. He spoke in his quiet, clenched-jaw voice, though his words, steeped in the jargon of the nongovernmental-organization sector, would not be confused with those coming from the lips of Indy Jones: "We must of course secure the critical reserves of biodiversity. . . . Conservation outcomes are scaled up when dedicated people from a variety of different sectors work together to pool their talents."

The speeches done, Ford walked over to get a glimpse of Melati and Maharani. But the two tigers seemed unimpressed with the commotion: One of them licked the iced treat that keepers had put out, then let out a yawn and walked away.

The bureaucrats and conservationists were not so calm. "Group photo!" one called out. "Please! We just need this photograph!" a World Bank official shouted. After the group shot, photo and autograph seekers besieged Ford from all directions. Zoellick whisked him away to see an exhibit of "Save the Tiger" posters -- only for Ford to be surrounded by more groupies. The beleaguered star -- skipping the half-hour of "outreach opportunities for celebrities" listed in the program -- beat a hasty retreat for a private lunch at the World Bank.

"All these fawning World Bankers," one bank official said to another as he left the tiger exhibit. "I thought we were serious people."