Three Wise Guys: Neighbor Etiquette, Short Shorts for Men, Changing Team Colors

Joe: Yeah, and while we're at it, let's bring back mullets, mock turtlenecks, Sansabelt pants and satin dress shirts. Along with these other style disasters, shorter shorts make the wearer look ridiculous and make the rest of us uncomfortable. Unless you're a tennis player (or European), your campaign to reintroduce them is inexcusable. Oh, and stay out of the kids' departments.

Justin: Actually, Joe, it's a law of men's fashion that short shorts are considered fashionable only if you are rocking a killer 'stache.

Joe: That explains the magical appeal of Officer Dangle from "Reno 911!"

Dan: Jim Dangle once tried to pick me up on the street in Georgetown. His thighs are sensational.

Joe: You can watch a video of Dan with the lieutenant here.

Dear Wise Guys:

Why don't NFL teams keep their team colors for life? I didn't like it when my Buffalo Bills changed from bright blue to dark blue. They suddenly looked like the Patriots (in terms of uniform, if not play). I've noticed lots of other teams changing their colors as well. What about tradition or even branding? Why change a color that people associate with your team?

Christine

Dan: The current uniform for the (our) Buffalo Bills is unfortunate, but at least it's not as bad as the Buffalo Sabres' uniform, which is an atrocity. (What is that logo supposed to be? A lunging hamster?)

Teams change their uniform colors and designs to sell jerseys. If there's a new look, you'll have new sales as people refashion their fandom. At least the Bills stayed in the same color palette (from royal blue to navy), instead of veering wildly like the Sabres, whose logos have gone from the iconic blue-and-gold swords to the ugly red-and-black buffalo head and back to blue and gold and the aforementioned lunging hamster. Now I'm in a foul mood.

Joe: Speaking of foul, the green hats the Nats wore last week were particularly ugly. I know they were for a worthwhile environmental cause, but I'd rather have global warming than see those caps again.

Still, at least they weren't wearing shorts.

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