QUIRK TAKES A roundup of vaguely related sports news

Further proof that fans in Boston aren't like us.

WickedLocal.com, via Lion in Oil:"With the Boston Celtics in the NBA finals, one local die-hard fan has offered to trade his wife on "Craig's List" for tickets to one of the next clinching games.

'Trade my hot wife for 2 celts tickets! -- $2 -- (medford),' read the ad placed by Kyle Carter on the popular online classifieds service this past Saturday.

Contrary to what some are assuming, it is a very decent proposal Carter has in mind. He and his wife are only looking for a basic dinner date, no hanky-panky.

'At first she said, "Oh, no, there'd be too many crazy people calling us," ' Carter said of his wife. 'But she said she'd be open to it. And some of the guys who responded seem pretty normal.' "

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The guy in charge of concessions was too busy trying to trade his wife for Celtics tickets to notice.

Boston Globe, via Deadspin:"Fenway Park's food stands flunked city health inspections on more than a dozen health and safety measurements on Red Sox opening day April 8, from storing food at unsafe temperatures to failing to clean food preparation counters.

City inspectors discovered the violations, which were significant enough to pose a risk of food poisoning for patrons, even though they had found virtually the same set of problems in an examination more than a week earlier and demanded corrective action. . . .

In the initial visit, on April 1, inspectors found sausages thawing in stagnant water, employees handling raw burgers without changing their gloves, and rodent droppings underneath service counters, city records show."

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The first lecture: "110 Percent: Beyond the Cliche."

Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:"If he gets a break during the busy fall football season, Joe Paterno will head to a journalism classroom at Penn State University.

He said he wants to sit with students and listen to lectures. Possibly, he'll stand up and tell them how it feels to face microphones and cameras and people firing questions about everything from his coaching strategy to his age to his paycheck. If nothing else, he'll offer some advice about dressing professionally, acting fairly and working hard. . . .

The Hall of Fame coaching legend whose name is synonymous with Penn State football is the subject of a course offered this fall. . . . 'COMM 497G: Joe Paterno, Communications and the Media' will examine changes in sports journalism in the past six decades and take a critical look at Paterno's love/hate relationship with the media."

-- Compiled by Matt Bonesteel