Three Wise Guys: Mattress Stores, Ads in the Metro, Crying 'Uncle' and a Response to Last Week's Pig Roasters

(By Danny Hellman)
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By Joe Heim, Justin Rude and Dan Zak
Sunday, June 22, 2008

Dear Wise Guys:

I have long wondered why there are so many mattress stores in this area. There are six in a two-block stretch on both sides of Rockville Pike. And two of them are the same company on the same side of the road! For a product that most people buy every 10 to 15 years, do we need a store on every corner? What is the attraction to a product that is so boring?


Joe: Beds are boring, Jim? I'm not sure we can help you with that. I checked in with Dan and Justin, and each of us goes through three to five beds a month. I even have one of those punch cards from my favorite mattress store.

Dan: One more bed, and I get a free foot-long sub.

Dear Wise Guys:

I was riding the Red Line recently when I noticed a cool ad for the International Spy Museum. It said something along the lines of "Other museums have treasures, most of our stuff is stolen," with a picture of satellite dishes on it. I know Metro won't keep that ad up forever. I was wondering how I could get my hands on it so I could hang it in my house. (I like to collect kitschy ads.) I hope the answer isn't classified!


Justin: Metro spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein says it's all up to the company that owns the ad. "Sometimes the people who purchase those ads and produce them want to keep them, and sometimes they don't," she says. "If somebody was interested in getting one . . ., they will need to contact the vendor that we use who posts them up for us." That vendor would be CBS Outdoor ( Good luck with your Spy Museum ad.

Joe: I wonder if Metro gives discounts for ads with smoke damage.

Dear Wise Guys:

Why do people say "I'm going to make you cry 'uncle' " when they are looking for submission from an opponent? Could it be that it started with two cousins fighting at dinner? Probably not, but got any better ideas?

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