'Blank Slate' Will Wheel Briefly Into View

"Everywhere you looked all weekend, up until really this morning, there was Michelle on our show," Whoopi Goldberg gushed faux incredulously.

Whoopi insisted the timing of Obama's visit had nothing to do with efforts to fix her public image, as some reporters suggested.

"It had nothing to do with changing over who she was. . . . We have been talking to this woman since December about coming on to 'The View,' " Whoopi said on yesterday's show.

"It happened also because it was just the time where there were all of these articles about 'Is she going to be a help?' 'Is she not?' 'What is she going to be like?' 'Do we really know her?' I mean, it just, it was the perfect timing," added sometime-journalist Barbara Walters, who showed up for the discussion on a purple bed, carried by four ginormous gladiators.

In fairness, the show was being broadcast live from Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

"And, don't forget, you know, Cindy McCain was our guest co-host in April," Whoopi added. "Now, did you guys think the media covered her period?"

"Her appearance?" Whoopi added, clarifying her double-entendre so as to avoid any pesky "Cindy McCain Menopausal, 'The View' Reveals" blogger headlines along the lines of those "Michelle Obama Says Her Husband Is 'Kind and Pathetic' " headlines that plagued the show after the wannabe first lady told The Ladies her husband is "kind, empathetic."

Too late.

"She doesn't have her period anymore," Joy Behar deadpanned in re the Republican candidate's wife.