Camp They-Be-Gone
Helping Kids (and, Mostly, Parents) Survive Sleep-Away Separation Anxiety

By Jura Koncius
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, June 26, 2008

As we bumped down the Vermont road toward Camp Wachusett, my eyes welled up as we came closer to dropping off my 9-year-old son at his first sleep-away camp. I kept my sunglasses on as my husband and I unpacked stacks of T-shirts and new socks, all with name labels. We made up the thin cot mattress with sheets and took a photo of our only child sitting there. We pointed out the pre-addressed stationery he would hopefully drop in the mail regaling us with happy tales of hikes and campfires.

That was 1999. He made it through the two-week session, and so did we, despite no cellphone calls, e-mails or text messages. Although some aspects of woodsy life never change (archery and musty bunks), a survival guide for Summer Camp 2008 must include a primer about communications with your little cabin- or tent-dweller. You won't see a cellphone, laptop or iPhone on most camp packing lists.

More than 6 million U.S. kids will head to 6,000 sleep-away camps this summer, according to the National Camp Association, and many of the 5- to 18-year-olds leave in the next two weeks. Despite the sour economy, enrollments aren't much different from the past few years, association executives say, because parents are loath to cut this tradition from their kids' lives. (And it provides 24/7 summer vacation child care.)

However, at prices from $400 to $1,500 a week, there is a trend to shorter stays, according to Jeff Solomon, NCA's executive director. Escalating gas prices are forcing some families to scout camps closer to home; others are requesting payment plans. To stay competitive, camps have added fencing, marine biology and "American Idol"-style singing; others have Olympic swimmers or soccer coaches.

At the same time, most camps are striving to keep the wilderness experience that is part of their history. "The very same kids who come to camp looking for new activities want to make sure that the same traditions, such as songs and campfires, are preserved," says Peg Smith, chief executive of the American Camp Association.

Smith says camp directors spend a lot of time on the care and feeding of parents, many of whom have been an integral part of almost everything in their kids' lives. "Today's camps deal more with parents missing their kids than vice versa," she says. Some camps offer secure Web sites where photos of campers are posted every day or so for parents to see proof that their kid is having a blast water-skiing.

Denise Viau, camping services manager for the Girl Scout Council of the Nation's Capital, which operates camps in Virginia and Maryland, encourages parents to talk with their child about the experience beforehand. There is a plan for moms and dads who want a little bit more feedback. "If parents are concerned, they can call us to check on their campers. We will observe them in the woods and come back and give them a comprehensive report," Viau says. "We tell parents it's usually a big mistake to talk to their daughters. The moment she hears your voice, she will burst into tears."

Kingsley Pines, a coed camp in Maine, sends new families a DVD/CD set called "The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success" by child psychologist Christopher Thurber. The DVD is for the family to watch before camp; the CD is for parents to listen to on their way home after they drop kids off.

Leslie Hartz of Columbia is sending her son and daughter to Kingsley Pines for the first time. "We have told the kids that the first day or two you will feel awkward, but you will be so busy that you will forget us," says Hartz, who has already watched the DVD.

The number of camps that offer campers e-mail has grown from 20 percent three years ago to more than 80 percent today, Solomon says. Instead of a letter at mail call, a camper might get an e-mail printout. A few camps are letting campers respond using a monitored computer.

"I'm sticking with the U.S. mail," says Jim Weiss, owner of Camp Wachusett, a 105-year-old boys' camp on a lake in rural Vermont. "At camp, kids need to learn to be independent, make decisions on their own and learn to live with those decisions. Not everything is going to be perfect, but this will help them be more mature in handling the ups and downs of normal everyday living."

Duncan Barger, an owner and director of Camp Shohola for boys in the Pennsylvania Poconos, has one major piece of advice for parents about homesickness: "Do not promise before camp that if your child doesn't like it, they can come home." It's important, he said, that children be given time to get used to the surroundings.

Some parents are ready to turn off their cellphones.

"I'm so happy camp hasn't changed," says Terri Freeman of Columbia, who is sending her 9-year-old daughter, Carmen, to Camp May Flather, a Girl Scout camp near Harrisonburg, Va. "Camp isn't supposed to be about electronics and modern conveniences. It's supposed to be about dirt and grime and swimming and coming back with lots of mosquito bites."

My son, 18, is now a counselor at Camp Wachusett. He recently penned an essay about camp for his college applications, titled "Nico Dodd Unplugged."

He wrote, "The absence of rapid communication is an attraction that keeps me coming back. Having real relationships with others requires more than opposable thumbs. Doing a job, competing in a friendly sports game or hiking up a mountain with someone lets people actually know each other."

I am desperate for a CD that will make us feel better in August after we drop him off at college.