Week 771: Groaner's Manuals

Primordial Loser Elden Carnahan, having committed Style Invitational ink for more than 15 years, has thought it wise of late to make himself more useful to his church. Elden's current project is to prepare a sort of operations manual for Laurel Presbyterian, and so for advice he immediately turned to his fellow Losers on the Losernet e-mail group, at least for the title of the guide. The best, from Andrew Hoenig of Rockville: "Calvin and Jobs."

Elden suggests we broaden the search. This week: Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization, as in the examples above.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives one of the finest prizes we have ever awarded: an authentic (according to the package) Zulu mcedo sent directly from South Africa, courtesy of Loser Robin Diallo of Dakar, Senegal. A mcedo is a, well, it's a round little protective cap of woven grass that looks like a large acorn with a hole at one end. It's worn below the belt.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 7. Put "Week 771" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published July 26. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by John O'Byrne. This week's Honorable Mentions name is sort of by Roy Ashley.

Report From Week 767

in which we asked you to find a sentence appearing in that week's Post or on washingtonpost.com and supply a question that it might

(in a very odd world) answer:

4. Sentence in The Post: You have to do some digging and think outside the box in the Washington area this year.

Question: What was Whiskers the Cat's advice on coping with the local kitty litter shortage? (Roy Ashley, Washington)

3. The time had come, France conceded.

What is the complete text of the chapter on World War I in "A History of Europe, Abridged" (later repeated as the chapter on World War II)? (Christopher Lamora, Arlington)

2. the winner of the silly mu l ticolor beanie with spinner :

"When the choice is between destroying or being destroyed, it's better to destroy."