Week 772: Make It Simple, Stupid

Other-Coast Loser Jane Auerbach sent the Empress a copy of a letter published in the Los Angeles Times this month in which the writer, Grant Nemirow, whined about a recent profile of a movie director:"How many Los Angeles residents under 40 (a demographic newspapers must keep and expand if they are to remain in business) know the meaning of the following words in this one article: phantasmagoria, bucolic, aesthetic, soupçon, diminution, schadenfreude, contretemps and vicissitudes?" The article with those eight stumpers ran more than 1,200 words.

Maybe Grant figures that people don't start learning long words until after age 40; more likely he's arguing that long words are some archaic form of the language, unnecessary and frankly a waste of time in the T9 Texting Two Thousands. So let's help Grant here: Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a genuine (if nonworking) screaming yellow Cold War era Geiger counter, of the type used to furnish fallout shelters in the 1960s. Sue Pierce of Rockville, who donated it to us, said her husband got it from a surplus catalogue after he had prostate surgery and wanted to see if he'd set it off. "Alas, no luck with that," Sue says, but happily Mr. Sue is now cancer-free.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 14. Put "Week 772" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Aug. 2. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results was submitted by both Mae Scanlan and Brad Alexander. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Randy Lee.

Report From Week 768

in which we asked for fictitious movie trivia:

4. The Japanese flag shown in "Tora Tora Tora" was mistakenly flown upside down for the first half of the movie. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

3. "Schindler's List" was never actually filmed. -- M. Ahmadinejad, Tehran

(N.G. Andrews, Portsmouth, Va.)

2. the winner of the U.S. Army promotional stress-relieving hand grenade:

Even though RKO spent $50,000 to clean up the Empire State Building afterward, the producers ultimately chose not to use the "King Kong" poo-flinging scene. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

And the Winner of the Inker

Despite its reputation, one out of seven people who saw "Gigli" actually liked it. Her name was Susan.

(Russell Beland, Springfield)