Pillow Talk

Jane: He's supposedly the best endowed man in the history of the world. Or, at least, in her experience.

Jack: Do you think that's true?

Jane: I'm willing to suspend disbelief.

Jack: Read another one.

Jane: This is Albert Einstein: "Teller lost the pool and I didn't know if his voice was fuzzy from telephonic static or from grief, and then my dear Margarita arrives moments later and I hope I can do what I have to do." Margarita Konenkova is a Russian spy. They've just had the first A-bomb test. He was fond of her. That's true.

Jack: How do you know that?

Jane: Wikipedia. This book could increase the traffic on Wikipedia. But my favorite is Joseph McCarthy. He's unbelievably paranoid. He's worried about "someone ready to bust in blazing away with their Kalashnikov AK-47 automatic weapons, whose development and manufacture were financed secretly by the March of Dimes, thanks to Franklin Roosevelt . . . "

Jack: Some of my uncles thought Franklin Roosevelt was capable of anything.

Jane: " . . . whose own eyes shifted away from the cameras at Yalta to give Joe Stalin a wink." The modern monologues are livelier and more varied than the older ones.

Jack: Like?

Jane: Lucrezia Borgia. Attila the Hun. Mary Magdalene. The chicken one is good. He should have included more animals. But then, where do you stop? He should franchise it as a game. Who would you have included?

Jack: You mean "whom."