Coping With Their Parents' War

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Caring for the Kids of Soldiers

More than 800,000 military parents have been deployed since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and the separation can be hard on their young children.

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At Sewells Point Elementary in Norfolk, counselor Gary Sigler meets regularly with groups of children from Navy families.

"My Daddy is going away for a long, long time," said Kyra Benoit, 7, a slight girl who was having trouble sleeping and getting to school on time, in one recent session. Her father left in March for Bahrain.

"We have lots of friends who will help you," Sigler told her.

Kyra crawls into her mother's bed each night after staying up late in case her father calls. She's seen photos of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and thinks her dad might be there. "I tell her, 'He lives in an apartment, he doesn't live in a tent in the sand,' " Chandra Benoit said.

Fairfax County dad Owen Beaudoin, an Army engineer, has been preparing to go to Iraq this month. He has served in Iraq and Afghanistan, but now the family includes a toddler and a new baby.

Stephanie Beaudoin and 2-year-old Giulia will make a paper chain, one link for each day Owen is away. They'll visit family. And Giulia's dad is leaving a favorite Boston Red Sox cap for his little girl to wear.

While Owen Beaudoin left for training in the spring, mother and daughter started a twice-daily ritual, which they will pick up when he's away. Each morning and evening they pause at his photo, Stephanie Beaudoin said. "We just say, 'Hi, Daddy,' and 'Good night, Daddy.' "