Week 774: Tour De Forks

Ikeaburger:

A Swedish meatball

plus 214 other individually packaged ingredients that you assemble yourself. Caution: Failure to add ingredients in the specified order will render the dish useless.

Last year right around this time, we asked readers to come up with a name for a new cocktail and describe it. Now it's time to sit down and eat. This week: Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives -- concentrate: this is complicated -- a large red nylon kite, from which hangs a blue and white parachute, from which hangs a muscle-bound, bearded action figure who is wearing a zippered jacket but no bottoms except for a pair of black underpants with a white Iron Cross on the front and back. This dazzling item was rescued by the Empress from a newsroom wastebasket, where it was consigned by someone who clearly was not considering the needs of The Style Invitational. It won't fly without a crosspiece, but it hangs up swell.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 28. Put "Week 774" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Aug. 16. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's contest was suggested by Kevin Dopart and probably someone else we forgot about; write in and we'll credit you later. The revised title for next week's results is by Beverley Sharp. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Roy Ashley. This week's headline is by Brady Holt. The Empress just farms this stuff out. What a gig.

Report From Week 770

In which we asked you to take a moment in history, or a famous scene in literature or drama, and transport it to another era:

4. Hercules' Fifth Labor: Cleaning out the Augean Inbox. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

3. 1795 to 1998: Martha: "She showed you her WHAT?"

George: " 'Twas an undergarment, yet as much like a bridle, with no substance."

Martha: "But pray tell, what was she doing under your desk?"

George: "Well, I cannot tell a lie . . ."