Three Wise Guys: Do Jackalopes Exist?, Clothing Size and Price Disparities, How to Wash a Bald Head

(By Danny Hellman)
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By Joe Heim, Justin Rude and Dan Zak
Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dear Wise Guys:

I want to know if jackalopes really exist. Or are they just bunnies with antler implants?


Dan: I recently drove through Wall, S.D., home of the famous megastore Wall Drug. There, I found a giant jackalope -- at least 15 feet tall. We approached it with caution. Gently, my friend climbed on its back, and I took a picture of her. The jackalope did not move. In fact, it stayed very still, as if it were a fake, as if it were an oversize representation of something that doesn't exist, never did and never will.

Joe: I had jackalope once, and it was delicious. Tasted like prickly pear.

Dan: Joe's 18-month-old child is half jackalope.

Joe: And half of him is as cute as can be.

Dear Wise Guys:

Here's one for you: Alyce is a size 2, Babs is a size 18 and Carol wears a 1X. Alyce and Babs pay $25 for the same skirt, even though there is more material in the larger size. But Carol must pay $32.50 for her skirt, even though there isn't that much more material in a 1X than in an 18. Well! Wise Guys, I know you will have an explanation that will not be insulting to those in the X category!


Joe: Is this one of those "What time is it when the two trains pass each other" questions? I hate math.

Dan: The answer is C) 3:30 p.m.

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