No More 'ASEAN Idol'?

There may have been some hints of progress to report from the annual Asia-Pacific security meeting this week in Singapore. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice met "informally" with her North Korean counterpart during the 27-country regional forum. More talks, at the foreign minister level, are scheduled among the key players working on the North Korean nukes problem.

But that important development was overshadowed by the dreadful news that the famous dinner skits by the delegations -- often the only memorable events at the somnolent gatherings of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) -- were canceled, allegedly by host Singapore, for what a spokesman vaguely called "practical reasons."

No more Secretary of State Colin Powell dressed as one of the Village People (2004), with a hard hat and a hammer in his belt, singing the group's mega-hit, "YMCA." Five aides backed him, all wearing variations of the band's outfits.

No more Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov dressed as Darth Vader (2005) in an elaborate "Star Wars" production, singing "ASEAN, Superstar/You are the best friend of Russia" to the tune of "Jesus Christ, Superstar."

The real reason for the cancellation, ASEAN Secretary General Surin Pitsuwan told the Associated Press, might have been that some delegations were taking "the performances too seriously, to the point where it felt uncomfortable to compete." Some countries kept their scripts and rehearsals secret, "trying to outwit each other," he said.

Or the skits may have been the victim of cellphone cameras and YouTube, with leaked videos to the press for what was supposed to be an off-the-record night of fun.

Rice, who is said not to be enamored of the skit foolishness, likely didn't complain about the cancellation. During her tenure, she dispatched Deputy Secretary Robert Zoellick to the meeting her first year, played a dignified classical piano piece the second year (when she had no deputy) and sent Deputy Secretary John Negroponte last year.

Department spokesman Sean McCormack called the skits "acts of ritual silliness in the name of diplomacy." McCormack, in what may be one of the most informative blogs on any government trip, apparently disclaimed U.S. involvement in killing these most delightful events.

"For some reason, and I will not ask why, that part of the program has been dropped from this year's meeting," he wrote. "You will not hear any complaints from the American delegation about the revamped program, and most especially me. Musical talent is not a strength."

Still, what would ASEAN be without skits like the memorable 1998 "West Side Story" duet of Secretary Madeleine Albright as Maria and Russia's foreign minister Yevgeny Primakov as Tony?

Well, as Surin said, the performances were "some of the best, some of the worst," and some were "nothing to be proud of."

Loop Fans can only hope that more fun-loving diplomats will move to reinstate this glorious tradition in next year's gathering.