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Capitol Hill Gets Exercised

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Washington Sketch: Capitol Hill Gets Exercised
The Washington Post's Dana Milbank sketches exercise guru Richard Simmons' testimony before the House Education and Labor Committee.
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"I was . . . the mother who had the most boring refrigerator," disclosed Rep. Carol Shea-Porter (D-N.H.).

Perhaps moved by Simmons's tale of childhood obesity, lawmakers and witnesses traded tales of their own struggles with the scale.

"I felt fat," said Lori Rose Benson, a witness from the New York City schools.

Keller spoke at length about his life as "someone who has lost 100 pounds."

"I lost over 30 pounds," said Robert Keiser, one of the witnesses.

"I've lost 42," added Rep. Phil Hare (D-Ill.). "Hopefully, in another six months I can get off these pills."

The Simmons hearing may not have been the most shocking thing on Capitol Hill yesterday (the Senate Judiciary Committee had a panel on polygamy), but it came close. Simmons entered the room kissing everybody in his path: the public waiting in line, reporters, the Washington Post photographer as she tried to photograph him, and the forehead of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.). "I love everybody!" he declared. His eyes filled with tears as lawmakers loved him back; "you can't help but love Richard," testified Rep. Ron Kind (D-Wis.).

Simmons arranged for a lectern to be placed on the witness table, so he could stand and speak as if delivering the State of the Union. A few sentences into his address, a technician came over to turn on his microphone. "Can I start over?" he inquired. Miller teased the standing witness: "I'd be glad to relinquish this seat to you."

"Maybe one day I'll have your seat," Simmons replied.

Even members of Congress applauded the performance. Wamp walked over to give Simmons a fist bump. And Simmons did not stop performing. When the chairman, questioning another witness, noted that Simmons had been frowning at one of her points, he interrupted.

"I was not!" Simmons insisted.

"Yes, you were," the chairman said.


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