Successful Sellers Know How to Think Like Buyers

From her point of view, she may have poured years of sweat equity into the property while you and she have lived there. If your arrangement was that she would pay for other things or raise the children while you had a job that brought in money, and she lived up to that agreement, you don't have much to complain about. Or if she also works and her income paid for other joint expenses, such as utility payments, food and other household expenses, it's hard to make the argument that she never contributed financially.

Once you and she are on the same page about splitting up, you can have a discussion about what to do about the property. Find out how much the property is worth. You can get a general idea from local real estate agents and from looking online at other properties that are for sale in your neighborhood.

If you two can agree on a price for the property, she could get financing for the house, pay off your existing loan and give you whatever equity is outstanding.

If she can't afford to live in the property but refuses to sell, you may have to file a lawsuit against her to get her to move or find another carrot you can offer that will produce the same result.

A real estate lawyer could help you outline the various ways you and your friend can divide the equity in the property and move on from this relationship. Be prepared for your friend to hire a lawyer, which can make things messy and expensive.

I recently read your reply to a reader who asked about breaking a contract with a real estate agent. You suggested that she ask the brokering agency for a new agent. I have a similar concern, but in my case, my real estate agent owns the agency. So how would I break my contract with her? Is there a form I could get online? Does there have to be a reason for terminating the contract, such as poor service?

You're in a tougher situation, but it's not impossible to cancel the deal even if the broker representing you owns the company. Simply sit down and say this relationship isn't working out for you. Outline your reasons in a calm voice, and ask to break the agreement.

If the broker doesn't agree, you can take your listing agreement to a real estate lawyer and discuss what options you have based on the language in the contract. If your listing agreement is for only 90 days, that is the longest you'd have to wait it out. If you signed a longer listing agreement -- which I never advise -- the lawyer may convince the broker that the company is wasting its time by hanging onto you as a client.

One added note: In this market, some people think their brokers aren't doing what they should because houses are taking a long time to sell. People may feel that if their home hasn't sold, it must be the broker's fault.

Make sure your grievance against your broker is legitimate -- something other than that your broker simply hasn't been able to sell your home. Your broker should, at a minimum, market the home, list the home in a multiple-listing service and place a sign in front of your home.

In addition, some brokers will hold open houses to show off the home to the public or to other brokers, and even place ads in newspapers and on Web sites to try to sell your home.

Make sure you understand how the broker agreed to market your home and what she has done to live up to those promises before you terminate the agreement. If you still think the service you've received is sub-par and the broker has not done the marketing you were promised, move ahead with termination.