Swimwear Decisions Aren't Itsy-Bitsy or Teeny-Weeny

By Laurel Dalrymple
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, July 26, 2008

Every year, it happens: Millions of teenage girls gather their friends and swarm the malls to hunt for that perfect little patch of material that is so much more than a swimsuit -- it is the very barometer of their self-confidence.

Here comes a trio now.

Alyssa Verastegui, Carly Morris and Rebecca Johnson -- all high-spirited, all talkative, all 16 -- are in a minivan headed toward Everything but Water at Tysons Corner. The three are friends at Robinson Secondary School in Fairfax, and they are candidly picking apart the mental processes that define this angst-ridden ritual of summer.

Alyssa hates her stomach.

Rebecca hates her arms.

Carly hates her height.

But they agree on one thing: They all want bikinis.

"A one-piece looks weird," says Carly, a long-limbed and graceful cross-country runner. "No one wears one-pieces unless they're old or on swim team."

Rebecca, a red-headed, freckled softball player with an infectious smile, enthusiastically agrees: "One-pieces actually make your stomach look bulgier."

"I think some one-pieces look good, but it seems like people who aren't confident about themselves wear them," says Alyssa, a petite cheerleader with a creamy complexion and muscular build. "Bikinis are more popular because they're sexier. They draw a guy's attention."

And although they agree that bikinis are the way to go, there is dissension about whose opinion on such decisions matters most and why. Alyssa and Rebecca both list boys' opinions as most important, but Alyssa says her own opinion matters next, while Rebecca says the opinion of her friends is next important. Only Carly asserts that her own opinion matters most, followed by boys' and then her friends'. "If I don't like it, I'm not going to buy it," she states matter-of-factly.

They say their parents' opinions matter least. "Every parent wants their daughters to cover up everything," Alyssa says in a tone that manages to be both bored and incredulous.

At the mall, the scene resembles a clip from Animal Planet. The girls approach the suits like pack animals grazing in one tiny corner, methodically shuffling through racks of tops and bottoms, pulling out mix-and-match styles and colors and whipping them over their shoulders with cool authority. Slowly and obliviously they begin to disperse across the plains, this one seeking bolder colors, that one foraging for trendier styles, that one hunting better deals. Eventually they converge upon the dressing rooms to compare the fruits of their labor.

Then the dancing begins.

Rebecca emerges in the only one-piece out of the combined haul, one she had seen in magazines and describes as "two strips and a bottom . . . weird." She is clearly uncomfortable, tugging at the sides and sucking in her stomach. "I just wanted to see what I'd look like in it. Not good," she laments.

Alyssa peeks out of her dressing room to survey the situation and giggles. "Oh my gosh! I don't like it," she says, and pops back in. Carly shakes her head disapprovingly. The vote is in, the one-piece hits the floor like yesterday's trash.

Carly makes declarations about her own test runs: "too tiny" and "too Fourth of July." Eventually she tries on a brown-and-blue bikini with polka dots that appears to have the correct style and ratio of material to skin. "I think this one is flattering on me," she pronounces, and calls her friends out for a vote. They agree. It's "sophisticated, like Carly." Carly's not so sure. She's torn between the polka dots and the more eye-catching velvety electric blue suit.

Rebecca reemerges in a bright, multicolored strapless number and decides that although she likes the style, she wants to be able to jump off the diving board without fear of losing her top. She marches back inside her dressing room, another casualty hitting the floor.

Alyssa has her heart set on the first bikini she tried on, a bold, geometric pattern with a fit that enhances her toned shape. Her friends insist that it complements her strong and bubbly personality. "You look all jungly," Carly gushes. No other bikini has compared.

Rebecca keeps trying. "I don't like the sunflower," she says. "I don't like bottoms that look like shorts," and "I feel like I'm hanging out." Rebecca is one tough customer, but she's also tenacious. She finally tries on a bikini with a funky rainbow pattern reminiscent of the 1970s.

"I like it," Carly blurts. "The rainbow is fun on you!" Rebecca likes it, too, but admits she already owns one just like it for half the price.

Carly checks the price tag on the brown-and-blue suit. "I don't want to wear my other suits anymore because I like this one so much," she says, "but it's $120. I just don't have that kind of money." She surveys her friends with the look of a disheartened girl who knows she has just made a good decision. They give her sympathetic nods.

Rebecca calls her mom from the dressing room. Her suit is $78, and she thinks she has $88 in her account. No dice. Mom says no.

After some waffling about the $80 price, Alyssa decides to buy her bikini, with a little encouragement from her friends and monetary help from her mom. She says she's a bargain shopper who hardly ever splurges.

Piled back into the van for the ride to the pool, the girls analyze the factors that most impacted their choices. No. 1: weight.

"It's a big influence when you're picking out a suit," Carly says. "But I think your overall figure is more important. Some women who are bigger look amazing how they are. It has to do with confidence. I think confident women are more attractive."

Rebecca nods but says that "guys are looking for stick-thin figures. My weight is that important to me. I feel fat compared to my peers."

"Girls are always like this, though," Alyssa says. "You could be the prettiest girl in the world, and you'll be able to find something bad about yourself. Girls are so competitive with how they look."

Still, kids get teased at school for being overweight. "A lot of people talk about them," Carly says. "I think they're treated meanly."

"Yeah," Rebecca says. "One guy used to call me fat every day."

"Boys are meaner about it than girls," Alyssa says.

Or perhaps it's just that their opinions matter more to girls.

"Other people's opinions shouldn't matter as much as they do," Carly says. "You should respect yourself. But that's not the way it always works. You get so many media images in your head that people are trying to embody. The models are so skinny. People start thinking that's normal. All of that factors in when you're buying a swimsuit. You start criticizing yourself and your body. I know it's not normal, but it still has an influence on me. It's hard to live with just your own opinion."

The girls think about this.

"Actually," Rebecca says shyly, "I'm more relaxed in a surfer shirt than a bikini."