Getting Personal Over Autism

But families like the Oldhams also say that one of the most frustrating aspects of autism is the lack of proven therapies. Even the applied behavior analysis approved by the surgeon general guarantees only slight improvements.

The Oldhams said they cannot help but wonder whether other, more experimental techniques could improve their sons' lives. At the end of the summer, the family will explore that option by visiting a group of doctors in New York, paying $1,500 for testing.

Oldham said she knows she is not the only mother dealing with these issues -- as of December, there were 528 autistic children in Loudoun County public schools. But being in her home all the time, she said she feels isolated.

She said dealing with her sons' illness tries her patience and her faith.

"When Garath was diagnosed with autism, I prayed," she said. "And then Korlan got sick. . . . It makes you ask questions. It seems hopeless. It is completely overwhelming."

But the family continues to lean on its religious beliefs and its church, St. James' Episcopal in Leesburg, for support.

And Casandra Oldham takes solace in listening to Garath say a quick prayer she taught him.

Garath has the prayer memorized. "Dear God, help me," he says. After a pause, he looks up and adds, "All done."

Bill Oldham said he would love to see his children placed in mainstream classes at some point. But for now, he just wants to be able to tear down the wall.

"My hope right now is that they will be able to communicate -- that [for] the kid that is still there, we can reach out and bring him into society."