Week 777: Limerixicon 5

(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
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Saturday, August 9, 2008

You needn't be Shakespeare or Thackeray
To succeed in PR (known as "flackery"),
But to feel yourself whole
After selling your soul,
You'll be wanting that after-work daiquiri.

Some will see it as the annual anapestilence, but no matter: As we do every August, we'll be helping out with the Yes, It's Still Coming Right Along project of Chris J. Strolin of Belleville, Ill.: the online Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form, which aims to include a limerick illustrating every last word in the language (not to mention the first and middle ones). Chris J. is happy to report that Oedilf.com is quickly approaching its 50,000th "approved limerick" -- and it's just finishing up the C's. Let's forge on . This week: Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-, as in the fine example above by Gene Weingarten of Washington (Gene wins a Pulitzer).

The Empress is notoriously picky about rhyme and meter for limericks, though her rules are less restrictive than some. A link to her guidelines appears on the home page of http://www.oedilf.com. Once we run the results Sept. 6, you may submit your entries (getting ink here or not) to the Oedilfers as well.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a necktie featuring a map of downtown Washington, donated by Loser Russell Beland. If you work in the Federal Triangle and you dribble your soup just right, you may be able to trace out your way to the office.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, classic or current version. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Aug. 18. Put "Week 777" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Sept. 6. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Kevin Dopart. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Lawrence McGuire.

Report From Week 773

In which we sought ideas for new religions: As often turns out to be the case, the Losers expressed their fervent and unshakable belief in the Power of the Pun.

4.Oxymormons: A sect of polygamous monogamists.

(Lisa Marier, Oak Hill, a First Offender)

3. Palindroman Catholicism: Its central tenet was that a nun named Hannah would get elected ePope on 10-02-2001, put the church on the WWW (LOL), level the playing field for the sexes and be deified. Now mum, the faithful are keeping their eye on 01-02-2010.

(Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

2. The winner of the photo book "Brides Behaving Badly": Cheneyism: Premarital sex is prohibited, but you may go [have sex with] yourself. (Kevin d'Eustachio, Lynchburg, Va.)

And the Winner Of the Inker

Church of the Guiding Light: Adherents believe that no one truly dies; those who expire will become renewed as their evil twins -- after a season or two. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)

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