By Joe Heim, Justin Rude and Dan Zak
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Joe: For the past couple of weeks we've solicited suggestions for a motto for this column. At last count we had more than 30,000 readers write in with possible mottos, a truly amazing response.
Justin: I think there were actually about 300 suggestions.
Joe: The point is that many of the millions of readers of this column cared enough to write and provide a saying that captures the very essence of what this column is about.
Dan: Like the person who suggested "The smart one, the cute one and Joe."
Justin: That was a good one.
Joe: I didn't really get that one. Anyway, since there were so many great submissions, we've decided to run a different motto every week. After all, nothing says Three Wise Guys like an impermanent motto. So, with no further ado, here is this week's motto, submitted by Jeffrey Susser of Silver Spring:
Three Wise Guys: Because everyone loves advice from strangers.
(And since Jeffrey's was the first one we picked, we're going to let him help out with a future column.)
Dear Wise Guys:
Are all news readers dyslexic? Why do they pronounce Brett Favre's name as "Farve"? Why not "FAHV-er" or "FAYV-er"? The French don't pronounce Le Havre "Le Harve"!
Justin: It's a Frenchy name that started out sounding like "FAHV-ruh" but was eventually slurred into "FAHR-vuh." Say "Favre" five times fast and you'll soon find yourself saying "Farve."
Joe: The real answer is that the French don't play football. If they did, they'd pronounce it "Farve," too. It sounds tougher.
Dan:"Favre" is pronounced "Judas."
Dear Wise Guys:
I recently moved to California, where there is no Washington Post home delivery! No longer can I stroll to the front door in my pajamas and grab my Sunday Post. I am a fierce fan of The Washington Post Magazine and will die without it. I also enjoy your column. There's a Borders in Palo Alto that sells The Post, but it was sold out by the time I got there in the afternoon. I don't like mornings, but I also don't like reading the paper and magazine on the computer. Any suggestions?
New to Mountain View
Joe: This is almost a perfect letter. If you had said you were a fierce fan of our column and would die without it, we would take turns flying out to California on Sundays to drop the paper at your doorstep. The good news is that you can subscribe to have The Post mailed to you. Of course, you'll receive the paper a few days late, but you could always save it until the following Sunday to read. To subscribe, call 202-334-6100 and tell them we sent you. This will help us when we renegotiate our salaries.
Dear Wise Guys:
Lately I've been using face wash as body wash, and I was wondering if that's okay?
Dan: No, it's not okay. Face wash is for faces. Body wash is for bodies. What, do you clean your ears with your toothbrush? Brush your hair with your belt?
Joe: What Dan's trying to say is that face washes are generally more expensive than body washes, and they also contain such things as anti-aging ingredients or salicylic acid to prevent blemishes, so it's probably a waste to use them on your body.
Justin: You so did not know that.
Joe: I asked Trend Spotter's Michelle Thomas and Holly Thomas, who sit next to me. They're not sisters, but they're like the Wikipedia twins for beauty-care knowledge.
Have a question only the Three Wise Guys can answer? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org and await their words of wise-dom.