Textwalkers: Do They Need A Heads-Up?

The latest scourge on the Republic, we are told, would be people who flagrantly, openly and notoriously -- are you ready? -- text message while they are walking. These textwalkers stride like the undead, it is said, head down, smacking into light poles, other people and occasionally even splattering themselves against oncoming traffic.

What's the problem? you may say. Let genetic selection do its work.

But no. The ever-vigilant American College of Emergency Physicians will have none of it. It has sounded the alarm not only against textwalking, but against texting while motorcycling or playing football. The Consumer Product Safety Commission, meanwhile, warns of the perils of texting while cooking noodles after a 13-year-old girl suffered belly, leg and arm burns. One alert Illinois state legislator, Rep. Ken Dunkin (D-Chicago), has introduced a bill making textwalking a crime.

This raises the obvious question of what other activities should be banned.

(Montgomery County: Here's your big chance.)

· Texting while applying suntan lotion.

· Texting while tying your kid's shoes.

· Texting while making any dessert that involves honey.