Eco-Friendly, Minus the Friendly

Party? It sounds like study hall.

You don't really need Miss Manners to tell you that it is always rude when you are in the midst of talking to someone to have that person turn to someone else, by whatever means. This is just another version of the party guest who looks over your shoulder in the hope of finding someone more interesting.

Such types never seem to succeed, do they? It doesn't matter with whom they find themselves -- they keep turning to someone else, even someone who isn't there.

Well, let them. You can't go around scolding people. But you can excuse yourself from their company the minute you lose their attention. It is only considerate to let them focus on the company they evidentially prefer.

Dear Miss Manners:

When my husband and I were married a month and a half ago, we received congratulatory cards and gifts from virtually all friends and family, except his parents.

I feel awkward even writing about this, but it seems a little odd not to receive a wedding present from his parents. They hosted a rehearsal dinner at their home, so perhaps that was their wedding gift to us -- we aren't really sure.

They are quite stable financially, so I honestly think that has nothing to do with it. I have talked to my husband about the situation, and he said he thought his mother wanted to wait until after the wedding to give us a gift that we did not get from other guests.

Neither of us wants to say anything to them about it, lest it be assumed we are trolling for gifts. Still, my feelings are quite hurt that we did not even receive so much as a card from them. Do you have any suggestions for us?

That you stop looking for alternative ways to troll for gifts.

Feeling incorrect? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (who is distraught that she cannot reply personally) atMissManners@unitedmedia.comor mail to United Media, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016.

2008Judith Martin