Brett, Brennan, Browns

The 2008 NFL season, like most NFL seasons, will be littered with bad coaching, bad quarterbacking, bad announcing and, of course, bad replay challenges. And, in a time of uncertainty, the only certainty is that the New England Patriots will not go 19-0, even if they are 18-0 and 12-point favorites in Super Bowl 43.

Here is what else you should know:

The Brett Favre thing? Uh, it's not going to end well. Brett Favre migrating to East Rutherford makes about as much sense as Pope Benedict XVI vacationing at Graceland. In New York, these things never work out. Neil O'Donnell was the last Super Bowl quarterback to journey to the Jets, and I believe he now supervises Tunisian-bound deliveries for Airborne Express.

I'm not just talking dismal here, I'm talking disaster. Favre has his legendary 253-game streak as a starting quarterback -- that will end in Week 1, to a freak season-ending throat injury in the second quarter. Even if he doesn't get hurt, Favre will be abducted by aliens at halftime of Week 2 and taken to Pluto, where the frozen tundra will better suit his game.

If he is somehow still standing in December, it is possible one of Favre's passes will be wind-swept out of the Meadowlands and into Upper Montclair, N.J.

Colt Brennan is a Redskin. This causes me great pain. For quite a while, I have not rooted for my hometown Washington Redskins, due to longstanding ownership issues. Even when Joe Gibbs returned, I did not root for the Redskins, due to longstanding ownership issues. And now, with my main man Colt Brennan on the roster, I still cannot root for the Redskins, due to longstanding ownership issues.

But I'm going to do a one-time favor for my erstwhile favorite franchise:

Play Colt Brennan.

As many of you know, I've touted this kid since he was knee-high to a sea turtle. I told America he was Heisman-worthy. Then he had one bad game, in the Sugar Bowl, and everyone was ready to consign both of us to a cruise-ship karaoke bar.

Jason Campbell? Nice guy, good player. Colt Brennan? A once-in-a-lifetime island volcano waiting to erupt. So take the clipboard out of his hand and rest your hopes on his golden arm.

P.S. If there's ever an ownership change, I'm coming home!

I need the Cleveland Browns to do well, due to a bet I made. I used to do a spot on Colin Cowherd's ESPN Radio show, on NFL Fridays. He fired me -- well, he didn't fire me, but, borrowing an expression from my first ex-wife, he indicated he "wanted to go in a different direction." Sure, Colin: You're headed toward the Jumbo CD line in a bank and I'm headed toward Palookaville in a Kia.