When Colleagues Talk Out of Turn

What do you do about a constant interrupter? I've run into this situation in meetings, conference calls, etc. I can't really say if the interrupter is being rude or just antsy. I find it to be extremely irritating, and it throws off my concentration, especially if I'm giving a presentation. Likewise, what do I do if someone's whispering out of turn when I'm talking? Do I call her out on it? Ignore it?

Let me put aside for a moment the problem of deliberately disruptive people, who, in my experience, are rare. People usually interject when they have legitimate questions or comments that, for some reason, they feel cannot wait. You, the speaker, might question the need for the interruption, and the manner in which the person speaks up might seem inopportune or abrupt. However, if you can look beyond the irritation of having your train of thought disrupted, you might find that the person interrupting you raises important points or that their commentary provides you with a helpful reminder of, or transition to, something that you wanted to say.

Likewise, when someone is carrying on a hushed conversation during a meeting, they are often discussing the very topic of the meeting. They feel a need to vocalize something they are thinking, but they either don't believe that that the rest of the group would be interested, or they are timid about speaking up. And, even though side conversations can be just as distracting as outright interruptions, the person who whispers while you are talking might actually believe that they are being polite by not addressing themselves directly to you.

So, how should you deal with these behaviors? When someone interrupts, let them finish their thought. Then, do your best to synthesize their question or comment, respond concisely, and return to what you were saying. If you do not know the answer, say so. If discussion of the subject would not add value to your meeting or if you are on a tight schedule, offer to address the question or comment one-on-one when the meeting is over.

When someone whispers during your meeting or presentation, make eye contact and ask that person whether they have a question for you. The answer might be yes, in which case they will contribute to the discussion. Or the answer could be no, in which case they will probably become self-conscious and stop whispering.

But what if you believe that the person interrupting is just being rude? Most people cannot stand to witness deliberately boorish behavior, so someone in the group will usually reprimand the heckler for you. If nobody comes to your rescue, you can also control hecklers by using humor ("Okay, Karen, that right there was your last question.") or using the time card ("Sorry, but we're short on time, so I'm going to have to ask that you reserve your questions for the end of the presentation."). I once gave a legal compliance presentation in which one of the attendees ¿ we'll call him Steve ¿ started arguing with me regarding nearly every legal principle. I was able to make it through the materials despite Steve's forceful interruptions by essentially making him the butt of all jokes. It was a risky move, but it worked because it satisfied Steve's desire to be the center of attention while at the same time taking the sting out of his comments.

If someone is whispering while you are talking and you are quite sure that they are discussing lunch plans rather than the third bullet on your PowerPoint slide, stop talking. It will not be long before the person realizes that theirs is the only audible voice in the room, and then they will stop out of sheer embarrassment.

Who hasn't been guilty of interrupting what someone else is saying, or of whispering to a friend during a meeting? It can be unnerving to be on the receiving end of these behaviors. However, they are usually a sign of engagement in the subject matter and, properly handled, can add depth and dimension to the conversation.

Join Lily Garcia on Tuesday, Sept. 16, at 11 a.m. ET for How to Deal Live. Lily Garcia has offered employment law and human resources advice to companies of all sizes for more than 10 years. To submit a question, e-mail HRadvice@washingtonpost.com. We reserve the right to edit submitted questions for length and clarity and cannot guarantee that all questions will be answered.