The Freshman 15

What Every First-Year College Student Needs to Know About Washington

The parents are gone. You've unpacked everything from your bins. Now the nerves, homesickness and restlessness are setting in. Leaving home for college requires a twofold acclimation: one to campus and one to the area where you now live. We can't help you become comfortable at school, but here we point out some things you should know about visiting and living in Washington. None of these bits of advice will blow your mind, but maybe they'll make your first semester easier or more interesting, or at least make you laugh. Which is how you'll get through this year anyway.

-- Sunday Source staff and friends

1. Stand to the right. This is really the first and last rule of Washington, a city obsessed with rules. If you don't want to join the hurried commuters walking up or down the Metro escalator, then move to the right and stand there. Do not block the path of the important people. They will huff and puff and make snide comments about your touristy ignorance. Soon enough, you'll be able to do this, too.

2. Recognize that the Nats are a major league team. You won't know this by watching them play, and you're unlikely to recognize a name on the roster, but these really are big leaguers. The clues? A shiny new stadium, exorbitant ticket prices (are people really still paying $300 for those seats behind home plate?), single beers that cost more than most six-packs and a creepy gung-ho Ryan Seacrest look-alike who tries to fire up what's left of the National League East basement-dwellers' fan base. Don't worry: This season is pretty much over, so you can start fresh as a new fan in the spring.

3. Don't dance at indie-rock shows. Maybe where you come from, dancing is acceptable or even fun. Not here. Music is serious, and being serious about music is serious, too. Seriously? Yes. You can smile in an ironic way. Or sneer. But keep those dancing shoes in the closet. You've entered folded-arms territory.

4. Maintain residency in your home state (if your new home is in the District). Especially if you're from a swing state. Your vote (absentee or not) will count more in Ohio or Florida than it will in the District, which is bluer than blueberries. Plus, D.C. residents have only a non-voting delegate in the U.S. House. Some call this "taxation without representation" (you'll see the phrase on our license plates), and it's why Americans shook off the shackles of Great Britain in the first place. You now live in the capital of irony.

5. Forget the fake ID. The District is where fake IDs go to die. Give it up, McLovin. That expired Hawaii license might have gotten you 30s of Milwaukee's Best at your local beer shack, but the bouncers in this town have you pegged: You stammer, you sweat and you don't even know your own fake Zip code. Don't believe us? Head to the 9:30 club. Test your luck, and let us know how that works out.

6. Remember that the Metro shuts down at 3 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights. Don't get stuck drunk and penniless trying to figure out how you'll make it home. There's nothing more pitiful than a Farecard-waving drunk trying to persuade a cabdriver to take him home. The cabbie will not take you home. Get your act together.

7. That police car is probably not pulling you over. Yes, its lights are flashing, but if it is moving at normal speed and you don't hear the siren, you can feel relatively sure that you're not about to get a ticket that you'll have to explain to Mom and Dad. D.C. police keep their car emergency lights on as a way to make themselves more visible to the law-abiding public -- and, of course, to criminals. Trust us, when the D.C. police want to pull you over, they will let you know in no uncertain terms.

8. Yield to cars in traffic circles. The city is overpopulated with circles (a.k.a. Washington planner Pierre L'Enfant's grandest practical joke), so you're likely to encounter them if you're a driver. Yield to the cars in the loop. More important, don't stop if nothing is coming. ("Yield" means "yield," not "stop.") College freshmen are responsible for 85 percent of the accidents in D.C. traffic circles. We're making that up, but it's probably 25 percent true.

9. Better yet: Ride the bus. Yes, Metro trains are cool, modern and orderly -- if occasionally prone to catching on fire -- but you'll see a lot more of the city and learn more about the people who live here by riding the bus. Note: Metrorail riders are mostly mute, but Metrobus riders will tell you just about anything, whether you want to know it or not.

10. Even better: Walk. Washington is an eminently walkable city, especially if you're at George Washington or Georgetown, Gallaudet or Howard universities. Walk a mile from GWU and you can reach Georgetown, Rock Creek Park or Dupont Circle. Within about a mile of Howard are Chinatown, the U Street corridor and the booming 14th Street strip in Columbia Heights. Walk half a mile from Gallaudet and you're on up-and-coming H Street NE. Amble a few blocks from Georgetown and, hey, you're in the middle of Georgetown. Even if your school isn't in the heart of the city, getting there can be easy: Chances are, your school is on a Metro line.

11. There is no J Street. No matter how far you walk, you'll never cross J Street. If someone tells you to meet her anywhere on J Street, you are being punk'd. The lore is that Washington designer Pierre L'Enfant (yes, him again) had a beef with John Jay, the first chief justice of the United States, and so didn't include a J Street. The real reason is that the lettering for J and I streets were too similar, so J got axed. Seems kind of harsh in retrospect.

12. NoMa is a neighborhood. But the only people who call it that are the people who live there. It's their way of New Yorkifying a city below the Mason-Dixon line. These are probably the same people who wanted to start calling Adams Morgan "AdMo" a few years ago. Say no mas to NoMa and hell no to AdMo. The rest of the city will thank you. For the record, NoMa is the redeveloping area north of Massachusetts Avenue NW near Union Station.

13. Take your palate global. Go for Jamaican jerk chicken at Sweet Mango Cafe in Petworth, Korean bibimbap at Yee Hwa in Foggy Bottom, a salad of Burmese pickled tea leaves at Mandalay in Silver Spring, Ethiopian kitfo (raw minced buttered beef) at Etete near U Street NW and a deconstructed glass of wine from Spain's José Andrés at Minibar in Penn Quarter. Save your ramen noodles for a rainy (broke) day.

14. Sample go-go. It is the unofficial local music. Give it a chance with such bands as Rare Essence, Junkyard Band and Mambo Sauce, left. And don't forget to pay your respects to Chuck Brown, the 74-year-old Godfather of Go-Go who still regularly plays shows. Find his next gig at http://www.windmeupchuck.com.

15. Get the tourist stuff out of the way now. You don't want to spend four-plus years near a major city -- the nation's capital at that -- and not visit any of its sights. Do this before winter break so you can spend your second semester getting to know the less-obvious parts of the city. Many museums charge nothing for admission; gather a bunch of your newfound dorm-floor friends and spend a Saturday museum-hopping on the Mall. Mainstream sites to avoid: The International Spy Museum and the Newseum, while attractive, charge $18 and $20, respectively, without offering individual student discounts. Boo!