It's More Than a Mortgage

"Anybody who is mid-career, we've got too much house if we can't put a lot of money in a 401(k) plan," Schaeffer said.

Get Ready to Study

While they're saving their money, would-be buyers can research the loan application and home buying processes. There are countless resources to explain how they work, including books, Web sites, and free and low-cost seminars.

And of course, people can talk to friends and family. Laplante said people they knew who had already bought a house were a valuable source of guidance.

At minimum, prospective buyers need to understand the elements of a responsible mortgage, said Marietta Rodriguez, national director of homeownership programs for NeighborWorks America, a nonprofit housing organization. "Financial companies have gotten very good at marketing a monthly payment." But that one number doesn't reflect the true cost of a mortgage loan.

Rodriguez recommends that aspiring buyers reach out to a counseling agency approved by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, whether for a one-on-one session or for a class. (A list of HUD-approved agencies can be found at http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hcc/hcs.cfm.) These programs can help buyers better understand mortgage terms, budgeting and the roles of all the players involved in a typical real estate transaction. She suggests signing up for such a class before contacting a real estate agent. "Don't shop for houses until you know what you can afford."

Fleming also encourages first-time buyers to participate in counseling programs. And she considers people's willingness to do that a good test of their seriousness about buying. "People really tire of the homework part of it if they're not really ready."

Assess Your Relationship

Buying a house on your own is complicated enough, but the process grows more complex when another person is involved. Couples wondering whether they are ready to buy need to take a hard look at the relationship itself, say financial planners, marriage counselors and even divorce lawyers.

"If you're going to do something as serious as buying a house together, you've got to be on the same page," Schaeffer said. "The consequences of owning a home and having a relationship fall apart are very high."

Because of that, it's worth paying attention to the emotional health of your relationship, said Scott Wolfe, a family therapist in Columbia who primarily works with couples. "There's more to buying a house than the financial aspects," he said. "When you are making that kind of major investment, you really are betting on that relationship. It really is saying, 'I believe in us.' "

Lisa Wagner, 37, recalled feeling that way when she and her husband decided to buy their first house, in Silver Spring, four years ago. "We decided if we were going to build a future together, we wanted something that was ours."

They had been married only a few months at the time. "It is stressful. It's a big step, and it's a lot of money," she said But "you get a little financial security when you get married. It would have been a much riskier leap when I was still single."

But sharing the responsibility of homeownership also carries risk, family lawyers warn.

"When a couple is young and in love, they don't think about these things," said Susan Elgin, a family lawyer in Towson. "But somebody should talk about what happens if there's a divorce." This is especially important if one of the parties will put premarital or gift money into buying the property, she said.

Unmarried couples should be particularly cautious. Vince Wills, a family lawyer in Rockville, said that before buying, couples should craft a written agreement about how the mortgage is going to be paid, how repairs will be handled -- and how proceeds would be divided if they split up and have to sell the house. Such a document could prevent an expensive, prolonged conflict later.

"The house issue is really one of these sensitive issues," he said.

But it's also an exciting one, Laplante said. He and Keiver found themselves a three-bedroom, two-bath rowhouse in Brookland. "Now we really look forward to making it our own."