Twitties Contest

Tweet Origin: Self-explanatory. Routine checkup + mild natural disaster = extremely awkward situation.

After the quakes subsided, Wilson's doc finished the exam, then left so Wilson could get dressed. "That's when I pulled out my cellphone," Wilson says.

That, people, is dedicated Twittering.

Her Chances: Wilson is currently neck and neck with Twitterer Lonelysandwich for best tweet. But Lonely's entry is self-referential pithiness ("Whenever people find out I use something called Twitter, I wish it was called something different, like Ultimate Badass Report"), while Wilson's manages to tell an entire, shocking story.

Bonus points to Wilson for continuing to provide real-time updates. Shortly after the initial Tweet, Wilson posted: "My Ob/Gyn said it was OK if I didn't want to evacuate to the parking lot in my paper gown. I was more concerned about the speculum." Followed by: "Good news, vagina is healthy, albeit shaken up."

Category: Funniest Tweet

The Tweet: "When I was a kid, our footie pajamas weren't flame retardant. DAMN, we were hardcore."

The Twitterer: WilW, known in real life as the actor-turned-author Wil Wheaton. Many of you may recognize him best from his role as Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

Tweet Origin: "The cover of my newest book has a picture of me wearing footie pajamas," he says (crafty plug there, Wil). "And I was looking at the cover of the book," when he wrote the Tweet.

FYI, Wheaton is the father of two children, both of whom wear flame-retardant PJs, which makes him especially qualified to comment on the hard-coreness of today's youth.

His Chances: Stellar. True, the "Funniest Tweets" category actually contains some much better entries ("Bozo the Clown has died. Or, for those of us who fear clowns, Bozo the ghost is born"). But Wheaton brings star power to the contest. Read: 16,778 fans who follow his Twitter feed in the hopes of some steamy updates about Trek hottie Deanna Troi.