Memo to Marketing: Cut the Bull From Wall Street Ads

"Some people say that dreams are like delicate little flowers," says the aging bad boy, standing amid an almost hallucinogenic field of flowers, as the '60s-era Spencer Davis Group song "Gimme Some Lovin' " kicks in. "Wrong! Dreams are powerful. Dreams are what make you say: 'When I'm 64, I want to start a new business. I want to make my own movie.' " Wrapping up, Hopper makes no mistake about which cohort he's addressing: "Flower power was then. Your dreams are now."

Fidelity tried a similar trick not long ago with Paul McCartney, in an ad that enumerated all of the ex-Beatle's various life roles ("Poet. Father. Frontman. Producer . . . ") before counseling, "The key is, never stop doing what you love."

The newest New Age approach has come from Charles Schwab & Co., which features animated (literally and figuratively) investors ranting about the hassles and injustices of investing. They are, in some respects, anti-ads: "How much do you have to invest these days to earn some respect?" asks a perturbed young man in one. "I mean, my broker takes forever to return my calls, and when he does he has, like, two seconds to talk. I realize the guy has bigger fish to fry. But does he have to make it so obvious?"

What now? Advertising executive Tom Score says these sorts of "image" campaigns are nonsense at a time of crises and calamity. Score, who handles financial clients at KDJ Advertising on Wall Street, says he is advising something that sounds almost shocking. He thinks advertisers should level with people.

"You have to talk straight with your customer right now," he says in an interview. "Give them the facts about what's going on. They're lost and need help. Get out a pen and write them a letter. This is about education. It's not about tag lines and pretty pictures."

Sure. Or you could wind up like Washington Mutual, the Seattle banking company that has been teetering from its mortgage losses. WaMu recently promoted an offer of free checks and free ATM withdrawals by showing a group of rival bankers who are so upset by the offer, they contemplate jumping off a roof en masse.

Funny, that's no longer funny.