You Think Your Boss Is Bad?

Dawn eventually moved on with a valuable lesson: how not to behave as a manager.

"I knew I didn't want to be anything like that person," she says. "When you're young, sometimes you can get caught up in insecurities trying to please your boss. But when I feel a little insecure or feel paranoia creeping in, I address that internally rather than project that on anybody else."

Since that job, Dawn has managed many people and worked in companies of varying sizes. She says she learned from that early experience that it's helpful to address problems immediately. But it was a hard-won lesson.

"It's so funny: As I start to remember this stuff, I get the same anxious feeling I had," Dawn says. "I internalized so much."

Bullying and Intimidation

When Bethesda resident Tash took a job at a grocery store deli in her native Australia, she was just 17. She and her boss had agreed that she would work 12 hours each week. But the boss soon pressured her to take on more shifts, often with only a few hours' notice.

"She would say that if I didn't come do this shift, she would cancel everything I had that week," says Tash, now 22. "I was in high school, and I wasn't as self-assured as I should have been, and she probably capitalized on that."

Tash eventually decided to assert herself, with some success. The boss gave her fewer hours but didn't cancel all of her shifts as threatened. Tash belonged to a union and today says she thinks it might have helped to bring the situation to the union's attention.

"I was too scared to talk to anyone," she says. "I think you get paid less, so people assume they can treat you badly -- or you assume they can treat you badly."

Fathelbab says standing up for yourself can be scary but worth it.

"The bullying personality will keep bullying until at some point in time you stand up and say, 'I'm not going to take it anymore,' " Fathelbab says. "It might work. It might not work, and that means you might have a better future somewhere else."

Ultimately, enough people complained about the boss that she was transferred to a different location. "After that, it kind of made the whole staff feel unified," Tash says.

Be Fair, Then Firm

Experts say it's good to remember that today's managers have a lot of responsibilities: increasing revenue, keeping customers happy, managing a diverse workforce that comprises four generations of people who are motivated and fulfilled differently. A little empathy for the boss can't hurt.

But when you conjure up all of your objectivity and empathy and still think the boss is in the wrong -- and your attempts at resolution are fruitless -- it's time to go.

"If you have a mediator, go to them," Katy says. "Try, but realize that it's not always going to work."