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It's All Part of the Plan
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One of the leaders in this field, Barry Schwartz, a professor of psychology at Swarthmore College and the author of the book "The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less," argues: "The satisfaction we get out of the decisions we make is largely driven by how good the outcome is in comparison to how good we expect it to be." In other words, the more options we have, the higher our expectations -- and the more help we need achieving them.
It's an ever-escalating cycle, though; the central irony is that when we're inundated with information, we come to think of ourselves as less expert. The more knowledge we have access to, the more advice we need. Take the iPhone, for example, the newest status symbol of the information-overloaded. With the power of a seemingly omniscient device in your pocket, you should be able to head out the door without thinking ahead. If you forget where you're meeting a friend, you can check your e-mail or call her to ask. If you get hungry, you can look for the closest Subway on your route. If you get lost, you can pull up a map. But that's not the way most of us are using it. We're trying to find a better place to meet up, the tastiest sandwich shop, the most scenic route -- because we can and because we have to. In our quest for the best, we've dulled our intuition to the point where we need someone else -- whether Steve Jobs or a diaper-pail consultant -- to guide us.
What's worse, with all this information constantly at our fingertips, our expectations reach new peaks every day. "It's human nature to be competitive," says psychology professor Martin M. Antony, the co-author of "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism." "People don't want to tie, they want to hold the new record." At some point, though, you reach the pinnacle. You can't get any higher, and it's dangerous to try.
So what can we do? For the small things, at least, resist the urge to find out more, more, more -- it'll ease your mind and leave you room to be pleasantly surprised. For the bigger things, sure, hire someone if you can -- but then be hands-off.
"If you're not looking at the options, you won't waste your time deciding how much better something else might have been," says Schwartz. "You can enjoy your wedding" -- or baby stroller -- "without thinking about what you passed up." The trick, of course, is finding the right planner.
Kelly Marages, a former editor at Marie Claire, is a freelance writer in New York.


