By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
He should have a reality TV show, that Gilbert Arenas. He could call it "That's So Gilbert," and the debut could be about the way he got engaged because -- well, it's just so Gilbert.
As we reported, the Wizards superstar promoted longtime girlfriend Laura Govan to fiancee last week. But he wouldn't dish about how it went down, apparently wanting to share the details on his own blog this week. It happened during a lavish surprise birthday party he threw for her Sept. 20 at their Great Falls home, but go read it for yourself. All the contradictory faces of the Arenas persona -- high roller, class clown, suburban homebody, oversharer -- are on mesmerizing display.
· How he knew she was The One: "I've done kicked her out of my house almost every weekend, yet she's still here and she still believes in me," he writes.
· His elaborate plot involved sending her to Miami (on the pretense that they were going to meet Barack Obama), then telling her he missed his flight to join her . . . because he couldn't bum a ride to the airport? (Laura, you know he's worth $111 million!) He lured her back with another fib.
· Party specifics: DJ, pool, gourmet chef, Moon Bounce, all her family, all his family, fellow Wizard Antawn Jamison, hipster-rapper Mos Def and his crew. "Of course, we had ice sculptures," he writes. Of course.
· He worried about how to propose, since "I've never, ever asked a girl out and I didn't want to change that." So he handed her a "Will you marry me?" note with instructions to read out loud. When she did, he started "screaming like the girl" -- as if she had proposed to him :"Of course I will!!!!! Oh my God, it's been six long years, what took you so long???!!!???"
· Then he faked her out with a series of Ring Pops (cherry, grape, watermelon) before their toddler son handed her the real ring.
· The next day, he threw a big nightclub party for the whole crew -- which he missed because he was on "babysitting duty back at the house." (Gil, you know you're worth $111 million!)
As for the wedding date -- here's where a TV show could cut to a one-on-one camera confessional. Arenas writes he's learned "the man law," that "you should prolong your engagement as long as you can . . . because of life in the bedroom disappearing once you get married."
When Greenies See Red: One Poison Dart of an E-Mail
Lobbyists! So savvy . . . and yet shocked to learn that their e-mails aren't private!
The latest e-bomb comes from Michael Eckhart, president of the American Council on Renewable Energy, to board member Linda Church Ciocci:
"You should know, Linda, that the ACORE staff has a dart board with your face on the target," reads the e-mail, which found its way to us. "You may be a Board member, but you are persona non grata at ACORE. . . . I do not want you on my Board and I wish you would please resign. Can I be more clear?"
Ciocci's crime? Missing the nonprofit policy group's conference call on Thursday, although she had sent a polite e-mail suggesting alternate times. Eckhart was also steamed about her simultaneous support of a rival policy group, which he called "traitorous behavior" -- but (weirdly) signed off with "Best wishes to you personally, Mike."
Ciocci, executive director of the National Hydropower Association, said she was "absolutely shocked" by Eckhart's language and surprised by the leak. She told us she hasn't received an apology but does intend to remain on ACORE's board.
Eckhart said yesterday the e-mail was a "private communication" intended to help Ciocci "understand the seriousness of the situation." And that crack about the dart board? True? "I suppose it doesn't exist . . . today," he said.
"It is absolutely phenomenal what my sister can learn in a short amount of time. What's happening to Sarah Palin right now is like the worst college exam cram period ever."
-- Palin's big sister Heather Bruce, interviewed in the November issue of Glamour.
THIS JUST IN . . .
· A life insurance company is holding back a $10 million payout to Heath Ledger's 2-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose, People reports. ReliaStar Life Insurance plans to investigate whether Ledger's death in January was a suicide, which would void the benefit payment, and wants to question Mary-Kate Olsen, who was the first person contacted after the actor's body was discovered. The New York City medical examiner's office has ruled the death an accidental overdose.