The Separate Peace of John And Carol

In his memoir, McCain writes of the Reagans: "My divorce from Carol, whom the Reagans loved, caused a change in our relationship. Nancy . . . was particularly upset with me and treated me on the few occasions we encountered each other after I came to Congress with a cool correctness that made her displeasure clear. I had, of course, deserved the change in our relationship."

Carol remained in Washington for most of the next two decades. During her days working for the Reagans, she developed a knack for event planning at the White House. Among other things, she expanded the crowds attending the traditional White House Easter Egg Roll by adding activities. She was also involved in planning the national Christmas celebration.

After the Gulf War concluded in 1991, she was the spokeswoman for the committee that staged an elaborate victory celebration in Washington. Carol McCain later went to work in public relations for the National Soft Drink Association, retiring in 2003.

She never remarried.

"She had a lot of boyfriends," Bookbinder says. "She was going out with one fellow who was so terrific. And I said: 'He's so in love with you. You'll have a terrific life together.' She said, 'No, I don't think so.' She's never fallen in love with anyone else. [McCain] was a hard act to follow."

Over time, the scars from the divorce seem to have healed. Andy is now an executive at Cindy McCain's company, Hensley & Co. Sidney, a record-company executive, and Doug, an airline pilot who lives with his family two blocks from his mother in Virginia Beach, have both supported their father's campaigns. McCain himself has said, "Carol McCain is a wonderful person, and we are really good friends."

At the Republican National Convention this summer, the family came together to celebrate McCain's triumphant moment. "Everyone," says McCain's old friend and lawyer Bud Day, "was there and jovial."

Everyone except Carol. She declined to join her children and her ex-husband.

It was probably just as well. The buildup to McCain's acceptance speech included an eight-minute video that celebrated his life, work and family. At its conclusion, delegates in the convention hall erupted in applause.

Carol McCain, the woman who stood beside McCain through triumph and tragedy, was never mentioned.

Staff writer Libby Copeland contributed to this report.