'It's Still Day by Day,' Says Widow of Pr. George's Officer

Kelly Findley finds herself remembering the smallest details of the day her husband, a police officer, was killed in the line of duty in Prince George's County.

She knows the expiration date on the bottle of water handed to her when she landed at the Laurel hospital Cpl. Richard S. Findley was taken to after he was run over by a suspected car thief, and the number of times her husband's cellphone rang with no answer before a knot formed in her stomach and she became convinced that he was hurt.

It's the 3 1/2 months since that day that remain a blur. She borrowed a freezer for all the food brought to her Carroll County home, and she slept for two months on the couch, never in the bed where she last awoke with her husband June 27. That's what her friend's tell her, at least. She barely remembers.

"It's still day by day," Findley said this week in a series of interviews with The Washington Post, her first since her husband's death.

"I didn't think it was a good idea for me to speak at the time because I was very, very angry," she said. "My main reason for speaking now is that I would really like to publicly acknowledge all of the citizens and businesses who were there for us. The outpouring was overwhelming, and I want to put that out there and thank everyone."

Findley, 30, also spoke candidly about the raw anger she feels every time her late husband's name is mentioned with that of Ronnie White, the man accused of killing him. White's death two days later in a Prince George's jail was ruled a homicide, placing county corrections officers under suspicion of homicide.

"As far as Ronnie White," she said, "I'm at my wits' end of hearing about how much of a hero my husband was and seeing that 19-year-old criminal's name mentioned in the same breath."

White's death stunned the county and drew immediate condemnations from civil rights advocates. The next day, County Executive Jack B. Johnson (D) angrily denounced "vigilante justice." No one has been charged.

Yesterday, flanked by almost everyone in the county police department's 46-member command staff, Kelly Findley got a reprieve. There was no mention of the jailhouse death at the annual wreath-laying ceremony at the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial in the District.

The Findleys and families of other law enforcement personnel killed in the line of duty in the past year were honored with roses and the promise that their names would be etched in the stone circle alongside Judiciary Square. The widow of Maryland State Trooper Mickey Lippy, who died last month in the crash of a medical rescue helicopter, was there. So were the families of Fredericksburg officer Todd Bahr, Maryland Transportation Authority Cpl. Courtney Brooks, Stafford County Deputy Sheriff Jason E. Mooney and others.

"It brought out all of the good features of all of the fallen officers," said Dolores Findley, Richard Findley's mother, choking back tears. "We're all hanging in there. We've got his memories, and I think that's the main thing."

Kelly Findley also broke down yesterday. She said any memorial still brings flashes of the Friday in June her husband was killed.