Mirrorless Stadium Bathrooms, Greeting a One-Handed Person, Crosswords for Lefties?

Dear WeisenHeimers:

So I finally went to my first Nats game at the new stadium. I loved everything about it, including our nosebleed seats. But when I went to the commodious bathroom in our section, I was surprised to find there wasn't a mirror in sight. I heard they have them in the fancy-seat restrooms. What gives?

With a mustard-stained shirt,

Vicki

Joe: Mirrors encourage people to linger and obsess over how they look. This leads to overcrowded restrooms. Dan insists that this is primarily a problem in women's bathrooms, but he doesn't want to say it because he will receive many angry letters from women accusing him of being sexist.

Dan: Okay, listen. Ask anyone which sex, on average, spends more time in front a mirror in a public bathroom. It's women. Right, ladies? You'll admit that. It's not a bad thing. And it's not sexist to observe that. Do not send me angry letters.

But, yes, Joe is correct. Both the men's and women's bathrooms at Nationals Stadium are mirrorless to promote toilet turnover. "What we want is folks to get in and get out," says a club spokeswoman. "We want to expedite the flow."

Justin: Now that is a great quote. I think I know what our motto is going to be next week.

Hey, Wise Guys:

I know you definitely are not etiquette experts, but do you know the proper way to greet someone who is missing a right hand? Do you shake the person's left hand? If someone is missing two hands, do you just give a quick wave?

Left-Handed Phil

Justin: It is not improper to wait a heartbeat and follow the person's lead. Different people, depending on their circumstances, will handle this in different ways. Some with no right hand may extend their left; those with a prothesis for a right hand may extend that.