Nothing Is Out of Bounds

By the way, have you ever noticed how similar golf courses and cemeteries look? Eventually we are going to run out of land, so is there any way we can combine these two cash cows? I mean, if you put some headstones in the sand traps, those bunkers would be even more hazardous, no?

Plus, it could be a big moneymaker -- what avid weekend golfer wouldn't pay a premium for a cemetery plot right off Rae's Creek at Augusta National? I smell big bucks for a dying industry. Maybe one day Pecora will rest in peace beneath the sixth hole.

Ask The Slouch

Q. I would not stay up until 1:30 in the morning to watch a World Series game if Cy Young were pitching to Babe Ruth. You? (Joseph Todd; Rock Hill, S.C.)

A. As a rule for all postseason baseball, I go to sleep, set my alarm for the seventh-inning stretch and then wake up to watch the final couple of innings.

Q. If folks in Green Bay consider Brett Favre to be a modern-day Julius Rosenberg, doesn't that mean Deanna Favre is Ethel Rosenberg? (Jim Clarke; North Chicago, Ill.)

A. Uh, doesn't that make Matt Millen a Communist spymaster? I just thought he drafted poorly.

Q. Do you anticipate that TV's transition from analog to digital in 2009 will enhance your looks? (Patrick Allen; Wynantskill, N.Y.)

A. I anticipate that the embalmer will enhance my looks just in time for the open casket.

Q. If I hit a home run over the border fence, will they throw the baseball back? (Dink Hodges; League City, Tex.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!