ASK AMY
|
TOOLBOX
   Resize
COMMENT
 Discussion Policy
 CLOSE
Comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions. You are fully responsible for the content that you post.
Who's Blogging  |
DEAR AMY: My wife and I are coming up on our 15th wedding anniversary and are at a major crossroads.
This summer my wife told me that she met someone in her chat rooms. She confessed to loving him and wanted to leave me and be with him.
It turns out that he was also married and lived very far away.
They have never met but have been in the same chat room for a year now. His wife found out and threatened to divorce him and take the kids. He ended it with my wife.
My wife was devastated. She got some medical help, said she would end it and said she would stay with our two children and me.
Two months later, I see the instant messages and text messages have started again.
I love my wife and will do anything to keep our marriage together.
I don't know whether to confront him or her or both.
I don't want to push her away, but I don't know how much longer I can be left out. -- Lonely Husband
DEAR LONELY: You should pull out the stops, confront your wife and the other man in question, and insist that this contact must stop. You are fighting for your family's future, so you should do everything possible to try to save it.
Your wife received professional help before, and she needs it now. You should be intimately involved in the process -- through marriage counseling and a consultation with a mental-health professional, if necessary.
Think of it this way -- if you do nothing, then nothing will change.
