Three Years After Failed Audition, A Tragic Note For 'Idol' Singer

A couple of days later, she auditioned again; this time she would have to sing three songs for executive producers Nigel Lythgoe and Ken Warwick.

"Ken Warwick immediately liked me and my fashion sence [sic]," she reported, adding that he told her "Yes, yes! Your [sic] thru!" before she'd sung her second song. "Both judges were really cool to me and really getting into my performance!" she reported.

She got to audition for Paula, Randy and Simon a month later. "And with the nerves and stress, well, that's what everyone got. . . . I sincerly apologise. Anyway, People . . . if you saw my clip you know what happens next."

What happened next was that Goodspeed told host Ryan Seacrest, "I really think I'm a pop star," and "they call me a fashion genius."

"Who calls you that?" Seacrest smirked.

She told Seacrest, "I really like Paula Abdul a lot. . . . I am a really big fan, and I make life-size drawings of Paula. I've been making drawings since I was a little kid, and my first drawing was of Paula Abdul."

"Brace yourself -- your number one fan is on the way," Seacrest's disembodied voice was heard saying by way of a segue. Goodspeed entered the audition room; when she began to sing, Jackson began to laugh. Paula said the performance left her "speechless" and not in a good way. Simon said he didn't think anyone could sing with that much metal in their mouth (Goodspeed was wearing braces). She was told that she wasn't going through to Hollywood, and she left. "How did she get through the metal detector? It must have gone crazy!" Simon cracked.

"It's very hard reading such awful things being written about yourself or hearing things being said," Goodspeed wrote on her MySpace page after the audition that was never really an audition. "I have to believe there is something good about me."

Yesterday, several people left comments, like little bouquets of flowers, on her MySpace page:

"Rest in Peace the world knows you name," one said.

"I Think the World might be a better place now that you have offed yourself, I mean i hate to be Callous but Honestly, to off yourself over that Piece of human Trash Paula Abdul. That's retarded," added another.

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