A Missed Connection, Bumper-Sticker Ethics, Music Advice
We were exhausted by all the effort it took to put out last week's Manniversary Super Spectacular issue and asked our editor if we could take this week off. She is ruthless, however, and sent us back to the humor mines to dig up the gems below.
Kudos on the anniversary. Here's my situation. It was a cold morning when Metro decided to kick all of its passengers off at the Reagan Airport stop. Three trains later, I ended up sitting next to this really awesome guy. Only problem is that I never got his name nor gave him mine. I know where he works (George Washington University Hospital) and the times he gets on and off the Metro. How do I find this guy? I don't want to be a stalker hanging outside Foggy Bottom waiting for him. I'm a 27-year-old chick who has been looking to meet someone normal.
Dan: Take a day off from work and stake out the GW hospital cafeteria. If he sees you and remembers you, just say you're there visiting your Aunt Tessie. Who just died. Then get yourself a pity date.
Joe: There's nothing wrong with being a stalker. You just need to commit to it. Contract an illness and get yourself admitted to the hospital. With any luck this guy will be your doctor. Sparks and romance will follow.
Justin: At least until whatever illness you contracted kills you.
Joe: If you work at the GW hospital and think you might be this guy, e-mail us at email@example.com.