Saturday, November 22, 2008
We let Stephen Colbert and all of his "truthiness" come into our homes, but how well do we know this man, this faux anchor from Comedy Central's late-night hit "The Colbert Report"?
Well, we can glean this: He seems to have a thing for certain members of Congress. Not the Nancy Pelosis, Harry Reids and Teddy Kennedys; rather, the likes of Bob Inglis, Joe Sestak and Zack Space. Those lesser Hill lights have been lured into interviews for the show's "Better Know a District" feature, in which Colbert plays video "gotcha" with his arsenal of Q-and-A switchbacks, rhetorical minefields and stare-downs.
In keeping with our sacred role as defenders of the First Amendment, democracy and all that other stuff, however, we here in The Post's Style section have turned our withering gaze on Mr. Colbert the best way we could think of: by imitating him.
Here now, the first installment (unless Jon Stewart becomes available) of our one-part series, "Better Know a Fake Anchor," a hard-hitting conversation with me, Manuel Roig-Franzia -- real reporter, faux fake interviewer.
In an interview with Eleanor Holmes Norton (the District's delegate in Congress), you said you suspected that she was undressing you with her eyes. How did that make you feel?
It's embarrassing. I felt so dirty. I felt like a piece of meat. I find being a piece of meat very exciting. In my last life, I think I was a veal cutlet.
Was it a tactical error not to select Ms. Norton as your presidential running mate?
I'm a fake politician. I didn't need two of those on my ticket.
You were born in Washington but left for South Carolina without explanation. Why were you run out of town?
I was dragged kicking and screaming to South Carolina. My father got a job. Vice president of academic affairs at the Medical University of South Carolina. Back then, they were mostly into leechcraft.
It seems that you're one of only five people in America not being rumored for the Obama Cabinet.
Oh, I'm being rumored. The rumors are flying around my studio like wild. I endorsed him a week before the election. I didn't do that for my health. Tit for tat. He says he wants opponents, people who will disagree with him, and he's not going to get any better than me. Live those words, sir! I will not only disagree with you. I will undermine you.
Jon Stewart: great fake anchor or greatest fake anchor?
He's in the top two, I'll tell you that.
Who's the other one?
Norm MacDonald [formerly of "Saturday Night Live"].
Where do you fit in?
Oh, I'm not fake.
"Colbert Report" ratings jumped after you bombed at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. When will you stink it up again to boost ratings?
I'd happily go back; I'm just waiting for the invitation from the Obama administration.
Colbert Nation: dictatorship or monarchy?
I'm not sure what it is. But it sure is benevolent.
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