A Vampire's Life? It's Really Draining

Think of this next time you're noshing on Nachos Nuevos.

At this point, it seems wise to address the fact that we are giving serious discussion to vampires. Or, at least, people who genuinely believe they are vampires. Because vampires are something that we've been taught are not, er, real. And if they are, shouldn't they be slinking around a Transylvanian forest wearing a cravat?

The vampires expect this reaction, and they are prepared for it.

"We're taking advantage of the release of 'Twilight' " to try to get some truths out, says Michelle Belanger, a prominent psychic vampire and author of "The Psychic Vampire Codex." For example, did you know that New York has at least 1,000 self-identified vampires? "If we take that as a sample," Belanger says, "it's less than 1 percent, but we'd still have tens of thousands worldwide."

Repeat: Tens of thousands of people believe they are vampires. It is hard, however, to verify this, seeing as it's a self-selecting title, and each vampire might have a different definition of what it means to be vampirical. Some are more "Anne Rice," some are more "Aren't you my yoga instructor?"

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Down in Georgia, the Atlanta Vampire Alliance and its research arm, Suscitatio Enterprises LLC, have been working for two years to collect useful data on the community. More than 700 vampires have answered hundreds of survey questions, and from the study we learn that vampires:

1. Have much higher rates of asthma, migraines and anemia than normal humans.

2. Most commonly live in California, followed by Georgia, Texas, New York and Ohio. (The District does not have a high concentration -- House Eclipse was the most prominent vampire group in the area, but its Web site does not appear to be updated regularly.

3. Are an average age of 28.

Also, only 17 percent of vampires drink blood; 31 percent are solely psychic, and the rest are hybrids.

The keeper of this data is J. Collins, who is also the administrator for Voices of the Vampire Community, which Collins describes as "kind of like the United Nations of Vampires," except that it exists purely to disperse information and does not govern.