Watching Thanksgiving From the Sidelines
Families Forgo Turkeys To Get Kids to Tourneys

By William Wan
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thousands of groggy parents will drag themselves out of bed tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning, pack their children and coolers into minivans and hit the road.

But it's not to grandmother's house they'll go. For many families, Thanksgiving has come to embody a new tradition: a ritual that speaks volumes about an increasingly busy and competitive world. Turkey and gravy are losing out as parents race to get their kids to the countless sports tournaments during the holiday.

There are hockey tournaments, national youth football championships and baseball fall nationals.

The numbers involved are often astounding. Each year, as many as 13,000 players, coaches and parents from across the country flock to Daytona Beach, Fla., and Las Vegas for what is billed as "The Largest Single Weekend Football Tournament in the World." More than a dozen multi-rink hockey tournaments dot the mid-Atlantic, drawing hordes of teams from Reston to Great Neck, N.Y. The premiere event in U.S. field hockey also coincides with Thanksgiving, bringing thousands to Palm Springs, Calif., for the National Hockey Festival.

"It's crazy this time of the year," said Chip Taylor of Annapolis, who runs a travel agency Web site for amateur teams. For this weekend alone, he has booked 1,500 hotel rooms, mostly for families heading to hockey tournaments.

Some of the games are crucial to maintain players' rankings. Many are well attended by college recruiters. And most offer a level of play difficult to find elsewhere.

And so, over the years, families have modernized the celebration of the holiday. They make turkey sandwiches for the road. They book hotel rooms with kitchenettes that can produce modest-size feasts. Some set out as early as 3 a.m. Thanksgiving day and give thanks along the way for the deserted roads.

"The roads are mostly empty except for other families as crazy as you," said D.C. Council member Harry Thomas Jr. (D-Ward 5), who spent last Thanksgiving in South Carolina and last Christmas in California so that his son could play for an elite national-level baseball team. "It's easy to recognize another sports family. It's like a culture of its own."

For those planning such trips, one popular strategy is to hold Thanksgiving feasts Wednesday to clear Thursday for travel.

"That's the way we did it for years, because you don't want to eat and run. Think about all the leftovers; you can't just leave all that behind," said Kathleen Otto, an Alexandria mother and veteran of Thanksgiving tournaments.

Hockey has been her family's blessing and burden ever since her son Kevin got hooked by a Mighty Ducks movie in first grade. Now, Kevin is 17, and the family's holiday calendar revolves around his practices and games. Otto often does her Black Friday shopping with other team mothers at outlet malls they pass on the way to games in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Her husband, Ed, plots strategy for avoiding traffic on the return. And when relatives visit, they take them to whatever tournament they're headed to.

"It's a family affair," Ed said.

This year, with a tournament in Harrington, Del., that doesn't start until Friday, the Ottos are indulging in a rare treat: a traditional Thursday holiday dinner at home. "My daughter who's coming home from college has already asked me three times: 'Are we really going to eat on Thanksgiving day?' " Kathleen said.

So many tournaments have sprung up during Thanksgiving because of its special status as a four-day national holiday, coaches say. It is one of the few weekends when teams don't have regular season games, when families can travel and when large amounts of playing time can be booked for soccer fields, baseball diamonds and ice rinks.

Such trips, however, can be costly financially and emotionally. Some families strategically split up over the holidays so their children can make it to different tournaments.

For the Skarupa family of Rockville, some Thanksgivings have meant spending more time apart than together. One year, Tony Skarupa took his daughter to a hockey tournament in New Haven, Conn., while Tony's mother traveled with his son to Syracuse, N.Y., for another hockey game. Meanwhile, his wife, Penny, attended a high school reunion in West Hartford, Conn. "It's not perfect, but it's part of the things we do for our kids," Tony said.

Lonnie Wilson, who coaches a youth football team in Waldorf, has spent almost all his Thanksgivings away from his family during the past eight years.

"As time goes on, your family comes to understand. Now my mom tells me: 'Just make sure you're back for Christmas,' " said Wilson, who left Monday night with a bus full of 12-year-olds and their parents.

This year, as others back home stress over oven temperatures and family tensions, Wilson will be in Daytona Beach, worrying about his team's uniforms, reservations, game times and, of course, whether his players win.

What makes it worthwhile, he said, is seeing the kids' faces the first time they walk into the college stadium where they'll play. "You see something happen to them when they're away from home, playing against teams they've never played before. You see how big their eyes get when they see the ocean for the first time down there," he said.

There are other memorable moments. Such as when parents from his team joined with those from a rival team to cook an impromptu Thanksgiving feast in their Florida hotel lounge. Watching the opposing players mingle over the mac and cheese was like seeing the pilgrims and the Indians again.

"It was like the real Thanksgiving story," Wilson said

And Thanksgiving on the road comes with other blessings as well. The many holidays traveling to hockey tournaments have helped the Otto family bond.

"I mean, think about it; you're confined to the car. No one in the family can escape," Kathleen Otto said. "You end up talking about everything under the sun, sharing about things you wouldn't otherwise. Most families are so busy these days running around. This forces some togetherness on our family whether we want it or not."