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Joe: Well, readers, it's never easy to say goodbye, and this farewell is harder than most. Our hearts are heavy and --

Dan: Oh, God, I hope you're not going to turn this final column into a weep fest.

Joe: You don't have to call me God, Dan. And I'm sorry if I'm a bit emotional. But after five years and 260 columns, it's difficult to not feel sad about it ending.

Justin: We've only been at this for a year.

Joe: Really? Hmm. Feels longer.

Dan: And we've taken a week off on several occasions.

Joe: Whatever. I still feel sad.

Dan: No sappy goodbyes. Let's go out like Redford and Newman in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," not like Debra Winger in "Terms of Endearment." Let's just answer the most important question we've received this year.

Joe: Fine.

Dear Wise Guys:

Why can't we find six-ounce cans of limeade anymore? We need them desperately for our favorite margarita recipe.