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By Norman Chad

Monday, December 22, 2008

I Googled "unmitigated modern-day disasters" the other morning and here were the top 10 results:

"Waterworld": It cost $230 million to make, $218.7 million of which was spent to prevent Kevin Costner from drowning.

New Coke: What were they thinking?

Bjork at the Oscars: I still have nightmares over that swan dress she wore at the 2001 Academy Awards.

Donald Trump: I have three words for you: Voluntary. Bankruptcy. Protection.

Spruce Goose: It had the largest wingspan and height of any aircraft ever and it made only one flight -- shades of Tony Mandarich.

Charlie Weis at Notre Dame: Talks a big game. Coaches a small game.

Illinois elected officials: I was schooled in corruption, born and raised in Washington, D.C. If I wanted a real education, my parents should've moved the family to Chicago.

Susan B. Anthony dollar: The Edsel of coins.

Communism: On paper, it looks good; in reality, folks just want to eat at McDonald's.

Detroit Lions, 2008: More than seven years in the making, Matt Millen's Mona Lisa.

The Lions are 0-15, verging on historic perfection. For 31 years, the NFL has played a 16-game schedule; for 31 years, no team has managed to go 0-16. You need a combination of a bad front office, bad coaching, bad quarterbacking and really, really, really, really bad tackling to go 0-16.

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