Style Invitational Humor Contest, Week 798

Striving for Change, Ford Introduces Hybrid Edsel (Bill Gee, Hunt Valley, Md.)

Steve Doocy's Upper Lip Missing (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

Patrick Fitzgerald Investigates Allegations He's Too Good to Be True (Greg Sanders, Silver Spring)

Defeat of Prop 8 Somehow Fails to Save Troubled Marriage (Greg Sanders)

Mom's Forecast of Dishes Not Doing Themselves Proves Accurate (Marc Naimark, Paris)

Euro Disney Unveils Animatronic Hall of Inbred, Syphilitic Monarchs and Fascist Dictators (Charlie Wood, Falls Church)

Photo of Jesus Might Be a Hoax, Expert Claims (Charley Owens, La Plata)

Newspaper Industry Stakes Future on Monthly Obama Commemorative Editions (Eric Murphy)

'It's Not Like I Killed Somebody!' Simpson Complains of Sentence (John Folse, Bryans Road)

Obama Beats Up Chuck Norris (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn)

'Please Don't Hate Me Because I'm a Cat Person,' Michael Vick Pleads at Parole Hearing (David Garratt, Glenn Dale)

Poultry Sales Again Show Unexplained November Spike (Mike Hammer, Arlington)