The 'Nova' Man Is Bursting With Bright Ideas

"In truth, I think a lot of those people watched," causing a spike in ratings, Apsell told critics. After which "we didn't hear a peep."

Meanwhile, Tyson, having caught his breath, wanted critics to know that parents are discouraging their kids from going into sciences by yelling at them when they do things like breaking a piece of the family crystal (Junior is simply learning that brittle things break) or banging on pots and pans (merely an experiment in acoustics).

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Interest is very high among TV critics over Friday's promised appearance of Patrick Swayze.

Pancreatic cancer-stricken Swayze will be among the panelists at a Q&A session to promote his new A&E series, "The Beast."

So naturally, we wondered how many people watched ABC's Wednesday broadcast of Swayze's interview with Barbara "Cry Me a River" Walters.

Turns out, nearly 13 million people -- the night's biggest draw, and ABC's biggest audience in the Wednesday 10 p.m. hour since May -- watched Babs work her tear-jerking magic on Swayze's wife of three decades, Lisa Niemi, asking her things like if she'd thought about what her life is going to be like once Swayze is, you know, dead.

Babs also tried her darndest to get Swayze to weep, but we think she did not succeed, though we can't be sure, what with one thing or another distracting us during the broadcast -- dog insisting on being chased around sofa, e-mails to be answered, etc. We can report that Babs finally resorted to showing footage of her 1988 interview with Swayze in which he did, in fact, weep buckets when she peppered him with questions about his dad -- who had just died.