Second-String Inaugural Balls Bring Out the B-Listers

Our first inaugural ball! Wooooo, get the camera ready! Where's Beyoncé? Where's Tom Hanks? Where's Oprah? Not at these parties.

At the beginning of this four-day Obamanic blowout, we were all about the audacity of events that bill themselves as galas or balls when the most apt descriptor is "inaugural function." Or "mixer."

But the B-list brings its own wacky breed of fun. You can play "Find the cardboard Obama cutout." You can play "Is this quiche Costco or Harris Teeter?" You can play "Is that Billy Dee Williams by the bar?" Traipsing through the weekend can become very, very magical.

Let's roll.

We begin our scramble on Thursday with something elementary. The Preschool Inaugural Ball at the Franklin Country Day Montessori School in Rockville.

Past the Faux-bamamobile parked outside, past the rectangular "Oval Office," past the 4-year-olds with Secret Service walkie-talkies . . . and . . .

This is genius. We want 4-year-olds with earpieces at every single event between now and the prayer breakfast on Wednesday.

Scene:

GIRL IN BALL GOWN: "Can I dance with you?"

BOY IN TUX: "Ew, no." (Runs away.)

Scene:

BOY: "What's a canapé?"