Dealing With an Unmet Goal

See more in the high school photo galleries at http://washingtonpost.com/highschools

E-mail suggestions for future focus topics to sandyst@washpost.com

"There's a special hell called 'Goalie Parent Hell,' " jokes Brad Cole, the father of 15-year-old Alex Cole, goalie for Magruder High School's hockey team. "It's great when they win, but it sure is tough when they lose."

Even a well-played game -- maybe the best of their life -- can mean you don't talk to your teenager for at least a few hours.

But a shutout is another story. "You feel like you're unstoppable," Alex said. "It's probably one of the best feelings in the world."

A one-goal loss? "It's one of the worst feelings in the world. You feel like the day will never end," Cole said. "There's always the second guessing. "Maybe I should have been two inches to the right, two inches to the left."

There are five other teammates on the ice at a given time, but for a young goalie the most difficult lesson can be that a goal is rarely the fault of one person. "People hype it up and think when you lose everyone blames you but that's not true," Cole said. Instead, after the final buzzer his teammates skate toward him with words of encouragement. "Tough game," "nice save," "lucky goal." The sting of the loss is tempered a bit. "You just think about what you have to do to play better next time."