By Lisa de Moraes
Thursday, February 19, 2009

This Friday is Conan O'Brien's last night as host of "Late Night." All this week, the future host of NBC's "The Tonight Show" has been doing a slo-mo exit from his Manhattan studio.

On Monday they started auctioning off bits of show flotsam and jetsam, including Conan's Horny Manatee T-shirts.

Comedy Central late-night star Stephen Colbert has officially taken over Conan's string-dance bit, showing up Tuesday for a string-dance-off -- which Colbert won.

And then Tuesday, actress and author Carrie Fisher rescued The Masturbating Bear, which Conan tells us NBC censors will not let him take to "The Tonight Show" because it airs one hour earlier.

So far, however, nothing's being done about that 800-pound gorilla over in the corner.

On June 1, Conan becomes "The Tonight Show's" fifth host, replacing Jay Leno, who is still, at this moment, the most watched late-night talk show host by a comfortable lead.

Conan's been doing a victory lap for more than four years now, since NBC signed a deal giving him "The Tonight Show" in '09 to keep him from moving to another network.

But he took a javelin in the back last December, when NBC announced it had signed a deal to give Leno its 10 p.m. hour, Monday through Friday (like "The Tonight Show"). Leno would host a show that sounds suspiciously like "The Tonight Show" to keep Leno from moving to another network.

For public consumption, Conan couldn't be happier.

In January NBC orchestrated a Q&A session for Conan with The Reporters Who Cover Television so he could tell them how he feels about taking over the iconic show, and the whole Leno thing.

Until NBC's surprise announcement, pretty much everyone -- including Conan, we're guessing -- thought Leno was heading to ABC, after reports surfaced that that network was prepared to back up the truck and start forklifting money into Leno's pockets to get him to take his self over there, to host an 11:30 p.m. talk show that would compete with Conan, as well as David Letterman on CBS.

At that Q&A session, Conan gave all the right answers: For more than a half-century (starting with the first host, Steve Allen), "The Tonight Show" has aired at 11:30, which "is sacred territory," he said. The show "has huge resonance for me," he said. Leno's show "doesn't in any way affect the show that I'm getting," he said. "I don't take it personally," he said. Yada, yada, yada.

It's been a united We Are NBC Family front -- no little cracks.

Then Conan goes and books Norm MacDonald as a guest on his penultimate week at "Late Show" -- one of his buddies he was booking to celebrate his "promotion."

"I had to come back to show the respect, man, because I started 'Saturday Night Live' the same year you started this show," MacDonald started.

"That's right," Conan answered.

"Yeah. . . . we'd all watch and go, 'I don't think it's gonna work,' " MacDonald continued, warming up to his subject.

"It's not gonna work," Conan echoed.

"But then, it worked and it was great and we're all really proud," MacDonald continued. "And so, that's great. And also, it's stunning how Jay Leno outfoxed you again."

"Yeah, he's good," Conan said, laughing uncomfortably, as the story started to veer off-script.

"He's very good. . . . He's the shrewdest guy," MacDonald continued, in re Leno. "He outfoxed -- you're in good company -- he outfoxed Johnny Carson, David Letterman. Every 10 years, some redheaded rube shows up," MacDonald plowed on.

"I'm like some clown off the bus with a cardboard suit: 'Gee, golly! This is going to be great!' " Conan joked-but-not-really.

Here's where MacDonald broke into his Leno imitation: " 'Yeah, you can come after me!' And you go, 'Hey, thanks, Jay!' "

"Uh-huh," said Conan, still not looking completely happy.

MacDonald is now in high gear: "Your agent is like, 'There's good news and bad news. You are doing "The Tonight Show," it's true. But remember that discussion we had when you said, "I will never have to [:O] follow Leno again?" ' "

More Conan laughing uncomfortably while the audience cheers and applauds.

"Yeah, yeah. It's so nice to have you back, Norm. It's so very nice to have you back -- and you bring joy to so many people," Conan said, and then he tried clumsily to change the subject: "And, you know what, I'll tell you something, Norm. These are tough times, people need to laugh now. Because -- it's the economy."

Da dum dum.