Week 805: Brand Eccchs

1. A bad name for a new beauty product.

2. A bad name for a new Web site.

3. A bad name for a new candy bar.

4. A bad name for a new college.

5. A bad name for a new fast-food restaurant.

This week: Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). It's easy to write entries for a contest like this -- writing good entries is another story -- and when we did the same contest 11 years ago with different categories, we got a reported 40,000 entries. That's too many for one Empress to judge. So: No more than 10 entries per category. If you send more, we'll just stop reading after the 10th.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a vintage roll of toilet paper with pictures of Jimmy Carter on it, courtesy of the otherwise courteous and dignified Loser Beverley Sharp.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, March 2. Put "Week 805" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published March 21. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Kevin Dopart; the revised title for next week's results is by Beverley Sharp. We were reminded of the 1998 version of this contest (Week 263) by Russell Beland, who never forgets anything related to The Style Invitational.

Report From Week 801

in which we asked you to supply questions, "Jeopardy"-style, for any of 12 pretty much random phrases: As you'll see, the contest was announced the weekend after the inauguration.

4 A. Ferret booties. Q. According to a recent poll, what are most male ferrets interested in, way ahead of "good ferret personality" and "good ferret sense of humor"? (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

3 A. The best Washington Monument topper. Q. What is a scaled-down version of Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat bow? (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church; Mike Anderson, Billings, Mont.)